Uff. So, that last few days, that was fun, eh? I am behind on EVERYTHING, you guys! Enter post-holiday/out-of-office shame spiral! And now it's 3 pm, and we all know what THAT means. Nonsensicality! ness! osity!
OBV I have no pictures from the holiday weekend, even though my sister was in town and we went to Medieval Times, which was OMG so awesome (Red Knight's goin down! Down, down, down! YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, RED KNIGHT!).
Anyway! Would you like to hear all about the conference I attended on Thursday and Friday? Lordy. Talk about shame spirals.
Shame the first: The course instructor kicked off a cheery soliloquy on work/life balance by telling us all about an immune disorder he has, and how he was on what he thought was his deathbed a year ago, and how looking back he realizes he worked too much and this, in addition to being the most clunky sentence the world has ever known, sounds much cheesier and lame than it actually was in person. It was actually sort of riveting, in a Lifetime Movie kind of way. More than one person teared up! (not ME, OBV. GOD! Pull your head out of your ass!) But THEN, after the Hallmark Moment, as if to prove his point, he followed up by asking the room how many people worked 40 hours a week, and I was the ONLY PERSON who raised my hand! So embarassing. Slash awesome. Clearly CFO material here. NOTE TO SELF: LIE LIKE RUG about hours worked to avoid THE AWK. Also, I totally ruined the poor guy's dramatic moment.
Shame the second: This same instructor mentioned, during his speech, that he didn't shake hands due to the immune disorder thing. Well, I really did enjoy the class, and so on the second day, in a rare triumph over the nervous tummy, I went up to tell him. And I OFFERED HIM MY HAND to shake! GAH! He took it, too, and it wasn't until I was leaving the room that I DIED INSIDE. How could I have SPACED on that? Ugg. I felt terrible. He probably had to chop the hand off and cauterize the wound after I left.
Shame the third: We did some of those goofy personality tests, and it turns out I am sorely lacking in the "directive" traits necessary to become CFO! I.E., I have a Nervous Tummy, which I didn't really need a $1500 conference to tell me. Each category had 30 traits associated with it, and I only checked ONE from the "directive" column! (independent). Dominant? No. Likes Challenge? Not really. Decisive? Eh. Confident and bold? NOT SO MUCH. Fears being taken advantage of? HELL NO! I am the OPPOSITE of that! So that was a bit of a downer. Turns out that you are supposed to be more directive and less "influencing", which is how I roll. (Intuitive! Flexible! Enthusiastic! Overly Optimistic! Avoids Conflict! This category practically has my picture SUPERIMPOSED over the top!). Percentage of CFOs with Influencing as their dominant trait? ONE. UNO. Am headed STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.
Sigh.
Your Hero
The International Symbol for "Texas"
About Me
- Tess
- Tess is a recently divorced single mom living thousands of miles from her family and friends. So she's got that going for her, which is nice. Email her at trueishstory AT gmail DOT com.
22 comments:
I used to work at an ad agency and the Vice President made us all take this in-depth personality test that took forever. Then one day he called us all in the conference room and proceeded to read our results to everyone. Mine said all this negative stuff like I "buck" the system and don't like to conform to authority figures and will always take the side of the underdog or disgruntled employees. It was like a nightmare. He always had it in for me after that. I don't recommend ever filling one out at work:-)
I had a similar experience with a personality test at work. I was forever pigeon-holed by my boss after she read the results. EVERYTHING became, "Oh, there you go being a KNOWER again." It's like the corporate form of astrology. "Oh, you're totally a Taurus!"
The gov't was always making us take retarded tests and classes. Hey - guess what? If you just left me alone I could actually get SOME WORK FREAKIN' DONE!
Seems like you could just INFLUENCE your way to the CFO position. All you have to do is influence the "directive" people. ;)
Our company made us take a personality test that catagorized us by color. Your team was supposed to come out like a synergized rainbow...My boss was/is forever calling on your red or your "long yellow", like I didn't forget what all that stuff meant about a sec after the conference. Tessie, you are OUR CFO....guffaw, (kicking dirt, eyes down)
Listen, maybe I'm just naive, but I think it's a GOOD thing that this test told you that you aren't CFO material. Because you KNEW that. And you don't WANT to be CFO. At least this way you don't feel like you're stuck in a job that's wasting your best potential. Because you are GREAT, but that doesn't mean you should aspire to be a CFO.
I find conferences, or for me inservices, incredidibly boring. Most of the time there is an inspirational speaking trying to make what you already know sound too damn flowery.
Oh and Medieval Times is great. The show gets a little repetitive after you've been there more than once, but the food... AMAZING!
Wow, K. I am totally with you on conferences and CPE. BORING lol.
As for Medieval Times.. Well the show is fun, REALLY FUN! Have been to 2 (Las Vegas & New Jersey). But have found the food REALLY boring. (aside from the fact that you can eat with your hands), total bore fest. More boring than CPE (which mine is done for the fiscal year yay God)
To be honest, I'm a bit surprised that CFO's don't fall within the "Influencer" category. Usually "influencers" are those that can get the most done because they inspire teamwork and empowerment amongst their work forces.
Anyhow, if you become a CFO you can say BYE-BYE to those 40 hour work weeks and seeing AD "grow up". So, who wants that kinda responsibility / stress anyhow?
Also, you remember the partner at the conference we went to in Washington DC (i believe it was Tim Flynn) that told the whole group of 1,000 or so people that he was up every day at 3am, went jogging 10 miles, was out the door by 5 am and usually on flight by 6 am? Consequently, he flat out said he'd missed his two boys growing up and they were now 21 and 23 BUT (i quote), "I am trying to make up for it now". I remember thinking, WTF??? You can't MAKE UP FOR THAT!! YOU! MISSED! IT! BUDDY!!!
Sorry this became so long! :-(
But I still think money, status and power can NEVER make up for the joys your family and friends can bring. NEVER.
"Decisive? Eh."
Awesome.
Hmmm... seems other people realized that you don't WANT the CFO job. Yeah, with my reader so backed up, I became TOTAL SKIMMER. Sorry. Just influence them to NOT give you the job. :)
I have taken more of those Meyers Briggs tests than I care to remember, and I always come up ENTJ. I think it stands for "Extroverted, Nervous, Type A Jackass."
Shame was definitely in the air for all involved these past few days...
This is why I never do audience participation of any kind. Just a set up for emabarrassment. And I can tell you, without meeting you, that you are approximately 100,000 times smarter than the CFO of the last company I worked for. So chin up, Tessie!
So, a one percent chance, huh? "So you're saying there's a chance?" (Dumb & Dumber)
I just about died at the hand shaking part. Hilarious! Reminds me of how Howie Mandel is a germaphobe and won't shake hands either. Then you see contestants practically fling themselves at him when they win big money.
"NOTE TO SELF: LIE LIKE RUG": Bwah hah hah hah hah!!!!
Meh. I know CFO's with those traits and they suck. Just because directive is the way it has been in the past, it doesn't mean tha influencing isn't going to be the next best path to becoming CFO. My own experience with students tells me that the workforce in the next decade will be more inclined to respond to your style than the old-school approach.
The hand-shaking thing killed me.
a) OMG there's another alice here?!?!
b) i'm indecisive, non-directive, conflict-avoidy, etc... so i am like 800% sure i never want to be in an Important Influential Role. i like my anonymous, non-accountable life plenty, thanks!
Erica--love the "corporate form of astrology" comment. I am totally using that the next time I am asked to take one of those stupid tests.
I think that just makes you special! In a nice way. Not "special."
BWAH! Corporate form of astrology! Many years ago the company my husband worked for made him take a personality test before he even started and then pigeon-holed him for the next four years he worked there. He has worked in two other places since then and done very well and thoroughly enjoyed doing the kind of work they wouldn't let him do at his old job. So whatever personality tests.
I think those other CFOs probably suck as people. What kind of unpleasant person describes THEMSELVES as dominant, confident, and bold? YACK. Also: I'll bet 99% of the people who meet that guy shake his hand even though he says he doesn't. I'll bet he has special wipes in his pocket, like Monk.
I'm clearly not CFO material either, because I can't figure out if everyone else in the room worked more hours than 40? Or less? I DO NOT GET THIS! DOES NOT COMPUTE.
I get the germaphobe thing, though. When my child was a small baby I carried wipes in my pocket to wipe off any part of her body that ANYONE touched. I would try to hide it, but I'm sure people figured out what I doing. FUH_REAK!
Post a Comment