Don't worry though, this morning she was back to her old self, even adding a new twist by demanding to SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THE CAR on the way to daycare. Too bad she didn't call shotgun. Denied. She literally latched onto the door handle, planted her feet, and leaned back with all her might, all HELL NO! WE WON'T GO! I mean, what the fuck. I know Barack's in town, but there's no need to stage a revolution. Well, over seating arrangements, anyway. Holy shit, do I DIGRESS or WHAT? Excuse the tangent.
Anyway, my mom. When your mom's a cleaning lady, you have a certain level of paranoia about her visits. I've learned that it doesn't matter how clean my house is, at some point in the visit she's going to say something like, "I'm just going to clean out the vents in your car with a Q-tip." That's based on a true story, by the way. This time she took off the rubber flooring in the gym and washed it piece by piece. JESUS.
Beating down the next generation
That picture reminds me that I forgot to tell you guys I got a new kitchen floor! Remember how much I hated the old 70s linoleum? The new stuff is ceramic tile. I came home a few weeks ago on a Friday, and...THERE IT WAS. BR and some "hired guys" (don't ask), did it while I was at work. BR is always doing that kind of shit. I mean, it's nice of course. A little weird, and slightly shady (is he...a WIZARD?), but nice.
Well, I warned you about The Suck.
38 comments:
Rubber floors in the GYM? Like, you have a GYM in your HOUSE?! AND a pool?! Can I come live with you? I will babysit AD in exchange for free swimming and workouts.
Okay, BR might be completely awesome for that kind of activity. AND he does it on a regular basis! Wow.
Once I came home from work and Brett and installed blinds in the kitchen. He got lucky that night (I think).
You came home and there as a NEW FLOOR? That is insane.
My mom is not a cleaning lady, but she is the same way about cleaning. I always clean like crazy before she visits, but then I pretend like I didn't have time to clean, and she says things like, "Yeah, I noticed." AARG.
When my kids were little, but had graduated from the car seats and booster seats, they used to call "shotgun" and "weapons" to determine who sat where.
Is he a WIZARD? ---SNORT
Also, send your mom on over. I can let her clean my house without the emotional baggage. :-)
mom's like that and she's NOT a professional cleaner. just insane, apparently.
Ha! I just mentioned in a comment at Flibberty's that you've been incommunicado the last few days. Glad you're back! Also, I need your mom to come visit me. Actually, she's welcome to just move in.
He surprised you with a new floor? I was excited yesterday that Homer had fixed a leaky faucet AND changed 3 halogen bulbs. I would be absolutely, well, FLOORED by a new floor!
It looks like she is teaching AD to clean though, so maybe she can get the house ready before the next visit.
My parents are coming on Friday...and I totally called the cleaning service to be sure they were coming on Thursday - because while my father isn't a housekeeper he is on the verge of insanely clean. The last time he came to visit this was the quote that I wrote in my calendar "When was the last time you cleaned these baseboards - here let me get you at least started...this really needs to be done more regularly Cass"
I am glad you are back! I have been wondering where you were. And now I see you were just... CLEANING. And hanging out with your mom, of course. Three generations of women all together in one place. Also, I didn't even know that AD was old enough to understand the difference, really, between the front and back seat. I mean, yeah, but also, WHAT? I thought you had to be like six years old before stuff like that started mattering to you. Your child is clearly precocious.
I love the tile. Please feel free to send your mother over to my house anytime. I will supply the Q-Tips.
Hmm, never thought of Q-tips to get at those vents... tell you mom thanks! :)
Glad the visit went well!
And also the old Toddler version of revolution - oh so hellish (esp when running late.)
Okay, totally not stalking you but I saw Obama yesterday so that means that you could be here where I am or 3 hours away where he also was yesterday :)
Okay I AM really glad you're back 'cause I need funny stuff to read.
I can't believe you just came home to a new floor -- holy cow!!!
My husband took like a month to paint our little bathroom and made such a mess that we are going to have to hire someone to redo it. He is a great man but not handy at all!
Surprised with new flooring? Maybe he is a wizard. . .
The house we are looking at buying has linoleum in the kitchen. I literally had a hard time falling asleep a couple of nights ago because I was thinking "how soon after moving in can we replace the linoleum?"
Glad to hear my mother isn't the only one who cleans her car's air vents with Q-tips! But she's also been known to vacuum the whole house on her hands and knees using one of those fancy attachments. I keep my house clean, but I have my limits!
How sweet of BR! Fussypants do tend to get the gifts JUST RIGHT.
I love, love, love the picture of AD and your Mom!
I love that AD is helping! Sophie loves to sweep also and even moves stuff to get behind/under it. Why else do we have children?
Your husband ROCKS.
Do show pics of this mysterious "gym."
My mom is not a cleaning lady but when she comes to my house, she cleans constantly and also reminds me that once in a while I have to empty out my fridge and scrub the shelves. yeah, I know mom but it's low on my priority list. Meanwhile, at her house, she has stacks of Good Housekeeping magazines from 1985 because there was an article in one of them that might be helpful to her sometime in the next decade.
I LOVE the picture of your mom and AD! Her little broom just makes it perfect!
The tile looks great!!!
I love the new floor!! And he must be a wizard! I for one am surprized when i come hom to find that Hub has taken out the garbage AND the recycle!
Thank God our family members are all messy. We're worse but at least they understand.
I'm struggling between being super impressed that he put in a new floor and all cringy that he didn't let you pick it. Or maybe you've looked at it before . . . please tell me you've looked at tile before. Of course, HE is the fussypants . . . I just shudder to think what kind of floor my husband would lay down without my input
wow! Your mom can kick my cleaning lady's butt! Does she live in the northern Los Angeles area by any chance?
fana-We had looked at the tile and decided on that one. Lord knows BR doesn't undertake ANY project without a minimum 2-week research requirement.
Lex-LA area! I had to laugh when I read your comment. Tessie's mom goes to LA! Funny. I can't think of a place where she would fit in less. Except for the hippie thing.
Definitely a Wizard. Can he wizard my floors? I suffer from bad linoleumitus and need help.
Good to have you back! Hope you enjoyed your mom's visit.
The flooring? SO fantastic, and nice that it was installed without drama. I need to try that sometime.
Your mom is too cute! And LD has the same broom. Perhaps they can tag team and become cleaning ladies together. Also - send BR to my house, please. I'm also a victim of 70's linoleum!
Your mom is so cute! Isn't adorable how little kids love to help with the cleaning? Wouldn't it be great if that continued until they were really good at it?
awesome new floor, and awesome pic of wee daughter and wee broom looking up at her g'ma. Awwww.
Yay, you're back! I clicked over here WAY too often looking for a new post o' hilarity.
I love those little mom comments. I get them from my dad- he is always horrified by the state of my CAR. Which is admittedly bad, but hello, two little kids = trashed car. End of story.
Did you know what Wizard is my favorite word? BECAUSE IT IS.
Followed by espionage.
Tessie - even when you suck (by your standards) you're w-a-a-a-a-y funnier than 99% of the internets. Glad you're back!
Can you please post every day? It's a spent cliche, but I'm in loooove.
ok there are so many rulings here, where do I start?
First, oh my gosh if I ever came home to a surprise new floor I think I'd faint. Especially if my husband had anything to do with it. So that'll never happen.
Second, how freakin' awesome is it that your mom cleans your house like that? I tried to get my home to help clean my house when the baby was born, I think she might have wiped a counter down but I can't be sure.
Wow, I like the floor (pretty). And what kind of crazed workaholic IS BR, being able to put down flooring in a single day? Impressive.
No suck there.
Photos, baby revolutions and new floors.
Plus Mom CLEANS? LMAO. IIIIII used to have to clean MY MOM'S house when I went there (she was NOT a housekeeper, my mom, her strengths were decidedly elsewhere.)
So, I think I would have liked that too.
:)
My mom isn't a cleaning lady, but she can't sit still so when she comes over she has to be doing something....dishes, taking out the garbage, you name it. It used to bother me, now I just let her go. At least the kitchen is getting cleaned.
Good to have you back. This picture is really cute!
Oooo, I want my husband to be a wizard and put in pretty new flooring. Actually, I can live with the flooring. How about a coat of paint on the porch?
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