In the comments yesterday, my sister wondered if the mysterious orange "juice" was, in fact, TANG, which reminded me that as kids we were served a concoction that my mom lovingly referred to as "Tang Shit". (Marie Green recently wondered if Potty Mouth is hereditary, and JMC once asked if my MOTHER knows I talk like this, and I think on both counts we can emphatically say HELL YEAH). Anyway, in case you were hoping to whip up a batch, Tang Shit is equal parts Tang and Instant Iced Tea mix. Served hot or cold for whatever ails you! You're welcome!
I have a half day of "vacation" today to take AD to her 18-month well-baby deal. Truth be told, BR usually handles the doctor visits since he seethes with rage if I forget to ask every question on his list, with appropriate follow-up, in the order listed. I'll try to do better today, but honestly it's not looking good what with the whole "Friday afternoon" thing.
So, I guess I need to bone up on the milestones and whatnot between now and then, eh? What, like you don't PREPARE and STUDY before these things? So far I have:
1) Allegedly drinks from "big kid" cup
2) Says Y'all (*sigh*)
3) Is clingy hell-beast
Well, I'll work on it.
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22 comments:
Ugh I hate Tang with the same passion that I hate Ovaltine. Good luck at the 18 month checkup. My husband and I are the opposite. He can go to the checkup and not come back with anything to tell me despite all my questions. Drives me crazy.
That Tang Shit sounds just lovely, er, not.
Being from the South-ish (People, Texas is not really the South), I'm something of an iced tea purist. The mixes simply do not cut it. I actually pretty much won't drink any tea that is not my mom's recipe, which requires Lipton tea bags.
Luzianne? I think not.
Oh, I remember those "milestone" days! We used to grill the mommies whose kids were a few months older, so we'd know what was coming! Ha! I shit you not, I had a friend answer the question, "Can your child color with a crayon?" with "I don't know, we don't give him crayons, he tries to eat anything he can get into his mouth" Now that's a good mom in my book!
Also,Thought you'd appreciate this, my family lives in Texas and my 5 year old says "Tex-kiss" as in kiss mine! Ha!
Don't forget "throws ice at strangers." That's a big milestone.
: )
What's wrong with me? I love both Tang and Ovaltine, and these seem to be universal hates. Another reason I never really fit in.
That potty mouth thing is DEFINITELY hereditary. I've been saying "damn it" since the age of two, apparently, and I totally learned that one from my mom.
Anyway, have fun at the doctor! And have a great weekend!
I did a spring break volunteer thing in college where we had to go clean out this building that had burned, and they served us Tang at every break. To this day I can not see that stuff without smelling the mixture of smoke, burned plastic, and cat urine (the owners had moved out but their cats still lived in the burned-out house) from that work site. {{Shudder}}
After 3 kids, I now just lie at the well-baby check-ups. Yes, she sleeps through the night consistently. No, she never has a bottle. Yes, she eats whatever is put in front of her. No, we don't give her candy/cookies/popcorn.
If there was something that I was seriously concerned about, I would tell the truth, but I don't need a lecture from my doctor to make me feel like a bad parent.
Ew, that sounds worse than just plain iced tea, which I despise. As for the checkup, J's 15 month is next week, and I too am woefully unprepared. You'd think after 4 kids, I'd have my shit together on that front, or at least I'd have SOME memory of what will be asked, but no. It doesn't bother me too much, though. I just go in and say a lot of, "Maybe, but I'm not sure," and "I haven't noticed, but I also haven't noticed her NOT doing it." HOWEVER, I don't have a fussypants waiting to grill me on the appointment at home. My husband won't even remember that she HAD an appointment.
Erica-Hee! You know, I'm noticing that these milestone lists get all fussy about whether they throw OVERHAND and UNDERHAND and I'm really not sure what the hell it matters. I mean, throwing ice is throwing ice, right?
Also, this post makes it seem like I am AGAINST Tang Shit, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I like it, especially hot (TANG SHIT, THAT IS).
Dude. It's not like she's trying out for girl's fast pitch or something.
I have yet to make it through a pediatric appointment without making myself look like a complete ass who knows nothing about my children's development. And it sucks because they can actually talk now. So the "Does he brush his teeth every day?" question gets answered like this:
Me:"Yes, every day and at night before he goes to bed."
James:"I never brush my teeth before bed, Mom..."
Question:
"Does he eat normal, well balance meals?"
Me: "Yes...", weakly, kind of knowing what's coming.
James:"Ummm....*insert comment with regard to my horrid parenting that come from the mouth of my own child*..."
I would say don't let her learn how to talk.
So, from now on when I go to Chick-fil-A I will ask for some lemonade shit. Its a much more succinct way to ask for half lemonade/half tea.
Love it.
As for preparing for Dr's appt - ahahahahahahaha - I usually dont even to remember to make the appoinment until 6 months after their birthday.
MM, I am on such a TANG kick right now.....
I grew up on the very same tang shit. It was delicious, as I recall. Makes me want to puke now, though.
I hate those checkup questionnaires. I just lie. "Yep. Yep. Sure. Whatever."
Maybe AD will end up with a combination accent like K. had when she was two. Hers was Kentucky/Boston: "SHUAH, I want to play BAWL!" It's gone now that we live in PA.
In our marriage, I am BR and my husband is Tessie. In fact, I was struck down with the stomach flu and STILL hauled myself off to the doctor's appt with my 2 year old (and husband in tow) because I just couldn't trust my husband to ask the right questions. She was sick and I had a million questions (it wasn't just a well baby thing, although I probably wouldn't have let him go alone for that either!) I was PUKING and I couldn't give up the doctor's visit control. I have problems.
Hmmm, I don’t think I’ve ever had Tang, but I love that your mom called the concoction Tang Shit.
Good luck at the doctor and enjoy your afternoon off!
Tang is super yucky. And that is all I have to say about that.
Also, I can totally relate to BR. I would never ever let my husband take one of the kids to a well visit, because he...well. He...just wouldn't do it right.
I know. I suck. I think I might be a FussyPants.
I love tang! I remember slurping it down by the gallon as a kid. Must remember to go get some. :)
I think the problem with Jim and I is that NEITHER of us is a Fussypants Type. We argue over who has to go to the well child doctor's visits- in that neither of us wants to particularly. We know our kid, we've seen lots of other kids, and so far she is on track or ahead as far we can tell. Not starving to death, making some progress with the potty, can be understood at least half the time, seems to be normally affectionate and isn't trying to kill cats or anything, DRINKS FROM A BIG GIRL CUP... Sounds good to us!
I love that you called your child a clingy hell-beast. You are such a kick-ass mom!
And Tang? Egh.
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