My high school classmate Matt was killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan this weekend. His wife Vickie is also a good friend and classmate. They have a four-year-old daughter.
The last couple of days have been a flurry of phone calls and especially emails, many of which included the addresses of about 50 people, which is well over half of my graduating high school class. Many of us have not seen Matt or Vickie in years, but I'll bet most of us heard of their tragedy within hours. Growing up in a small town is a wonderful and crazy experience. It entangles you in a connected web from which you never completely escape, for good or for bad. As Garrison Keillor says, "The bad thing about growing up in a small town is that you never really leave. And the good thing about growing up in a small town is that you never really leave."
If you've been reading for any length of time or know me personally, it's probably obvious what I think of the war. But what really matters is what Matt thought. This was Matt's third tour (the first two were in Iraq). He reenlisted after his first two tours, knowing he would probably be sent again. To say that he believed in what he was doing is so simplistic it seems totally inadequate. His whole heart belonged to the cause. He wouldn't want any of us sitting around gnashing our teeth and asking "why him"? He would say "why NOT me"?
Rest in peace, buddy. May we all have the courage to see the things we believe in through to the end.
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37 comments:
How awful. May he rest in peace.
I hear about these things and want to say I'm sorry and thank you and so many other things but all I can think of is that my heart just breaks a little for that little girl and for the mom that has to raise her without her daddy . . .
I have been wondering where you were and if everything was okay. I'm really sorry about Matt.
100% with you. Regardless of any of our thoughts on the war, the young men and women that serve their for our country ought to be supported.
We too have been affected over the last couple of years, as Nick has lost a couple of buddies from B-Company.
Our thoughts are with you and with his family.
Shannon, I am sorry about Nick's friends. I wondered if he had lost anyone.
So sorry about your friend. Another good thing about growing up in a small town is the rally of personal support that his family will receive.
I never know what to say when I hear of people losing their loved ones like this. I hope his family and you, his friends, find peace. My heart goes out to his wife and daughter.
Oh how sad. That is heartbreaking.
shit. shit shit shit. i'm so sorry, tessie, for you, and for his family. i read the article and it sounds like he was a really incredible guy. my thoughts are with your whole little town.
I'll always remember Matts great sense of humor, intelligence and excitement about joining the military - he enlisted between his junior and senior year and he was so passionate about it. It is indeed a tragedy, but this is the way he would have wanted to go, no doubt about it. You're right about small towns - everyone in Granite Falls is reeling from this loss, including those who have long since moved.
I am so sorry about your friend and for his wife and daughter- he sounds like a great guy. I am impressed that you have such good perspective about the fact that he died doing what he believed in. I struggle with the war thing too, and my brother in law and several friends have been overseas doing tours in the last few years. Ultimately, though, they're doing what they think is right and you have to back that up.
I'm so sorry for this loss and the pain his freinds and family must be feeling.
I am one of those lurker/readers that you talk about....chose now to comment....
I am so sorry Tessie. For the loss of your friend, your friends husband, their daughter's daddy, and his family's son. May they have peace despite their tragedy.
Thank you, as always, for being honest AND thoughtful. It's a rare thing today.
My thoughts are with you, your family, and all those affected by this loss.
This is a lovely tribute. And a wonderful quote. I, too, am from a small town, and I know how unfortunate it is that often times we are reminded of how great that really is only when bad things happen.
Wow, what a shame. I'm sorry for your loss, as well as for his wife and daughter. I couldn't even imagine.
Thinking of you, Tessie.
TESSIE! I saw in the paper this morning that someone from your hometown died, and I had an email all composed and ready to send to you, and then I read this. I thought you *might* know him... WOW, to think he was your classmate.
Anyway, I've been thinking about you ALL DAY and am so sorry.
Small towns- you said it best.
For their family, having the communtiy of a small town during this time will likely be a source of comfort and strength. Community is a beautiful thing.
What a sad, horrible thing to happen. Loss of life is so hard to take, but when it from friendly fire, I'm sure it makes it even worse. It is so senseless.
You wrote very eloquently about the situation. I am sure everyone in the town will surround Vickie and their daughter with love.
Oh Tessie, I'm so sorry. I briefly saw the headline in the Star Tribune listing his hometown and wondered if you knew him.
He sounded like a wonderful man.
It's hard not to ask "why" when people lose their lives. In fact, I don't think that I will ever truly understand it, outside of the fact that death is as much a part of life as living is.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Tess, I am so sorry. My thoughts are with his family and all of you who knew him.
The article you linked was a really beautiful tribute. He sounds like a terrific person. I think it speaks volumes about him that his fellow soldiers are flying here from Italy to attend his funeral. My thoughts are with you and his family. Especially that little girl.
I'm so sorry about your friend. I get the small town thing, though. Even though you leave, you never really do, do you?
I'm sorry.
Oh, Tessie, I am so sorry.
You are so thoughtful to remind us that he was so brave to live his commitments. Please send my thoughts and prayers along to his family.
You said it so well.
I'm so sorry to hear that. And now sad that it takes a tragic event like this to make everyone reconnect with each other.
I’m so sorry to hear this. This article is a very nice tribute to him. My thoughts are with you and with his family.
I can also relate to the growing up in a small town, there is good and bad about it, but the way they pull together for one of their own is definitely something I miss about home.
Very sorry to hear about your friend. He sounds like he was a really special person. Thoughts and prayers for his family.
Your post and the newspaper article are really lovely tributes.
Words fail me. I am so saddened by his death yet proud of him. My heart goes out to his wife and children.
jean
So sorry. My thoughts are with his family. I'm holding mine a little closer tonight.
I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your friend. My heart goes out to his family and friends, especially his little girl.
My heart goes out to you and to Matt's family.
The way you express how much he believed in what he was doing honors his life and speaks volumes about the kind of person that you are as well.
I grew up in a small town and live in one now as well and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Hugs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My condolences. I can't imagine what his wife is going through.
What a sacrifice. My thoughts and prayers are with his family, and with you as well. Anytime our lives our touched by this sort of tragedy, we are never the same...
Tess,
I am sorry that you lost someone so young. My thoughts and prayers are with you and his family.
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