Here I am getting ready to consume a Totally Reasonable quantity of food. You know, just a light breakkie. Also, don't talk to me about my tragic Ubertan. I KNOW, okay? It was my wedding, and I had Tan Dysmorphic Disorder.
And here I am teeing up for a round of mini-golf! Wholesome fun for the whole family, even the world's lamest newlyweds! This also reminds me of that Royal Caribbean commercial where they blow the horn right when the guy is about to sink the shot. You guys, I like that commercial. I DO. I chuckle every damned time. There Is Something Wrong With Me, Exhibit 23456.
And speaking of TISWWM, do you know what song never, ever fails to cheer me up? Barenaked Ladies "If I Had $1,000,000".
If I had $1,000,000
I would buy you a monkey
Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
So! I...guess that's it! GOOD TALK!
46 comments:
I love that song too. But my Canadian friend had to explain to me that "Kraft Dinner" is their name for Kraft Mac'n Cheese. And of course I would still eat that if I had $1,000,000.
Me too! With all the fanciest ketchups...DIJON KETCHUP!
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon too and it was so fun! All the food options, available ALL DAY. Mmmmm. Thanks a lot. Now I really want to go on a cruise!
"...a Picasso or a Garfunkel..."
Thanks for cheering me up. I need to go dig out my BNL CDs.
All BNL songs cheer me up: Will I cry? Will I smile? As you run down the aisle? LOVEZ
Yes, I HAVE always wanted a monkey! Really, I have! Give it to me.
Tessie. I don't know why, but I am SOOO excited that I knew the Monkey reference without the explanation at the end. Have a great week!
I'd take the million dollers, but please turn off that song. Oh, that song gets me...
The honeymoon cruise looks awesome, mini-golf or not.
We played golf on our honeymoon. Well my husband played and I just looked ridiculous because I am horrible.
Also, a toddler cruise? Am I the only one who thinks a cruise full of toddlers would not exactly be. . . um, fun?
I love that song. In college, I saw BNL live, and they played that song, and someone threw a green dress at them when they sang, "but not a real green dress- that's cruel."
I would like to compete with you for the title of lamest newlyweds. We went to a resort-y place on Lake Superior, and one night, we watched the movie Drum Line on tv. And liked it.
Hey, I sort of like this Lamest Newlyweds Ever theme. Keep those coming.
When we were on the cruise? Instead of going to the fancy dinner where you have to dress up and talk to the people at your table? WE ATE AT THE BUFFET EVERY NIGHT. It was awesome.
Bryan's high school girlfriend had a capuchin monkey like on Friends. It wore a little diaper around the house! I think he would really get one if I'd let him. :)
I'm such a bad wife...no dog, no monkey.
We played shuffleboard on our honeymoon. Get your crazy on!!!
lamest newlyweds ever? we went camping. in alaska. in a tent. in the snow. i wore long underwear the whole time and said "don't touch me" a lot, because his hands were SO COLD.
finally checked into a b & b.
but the whole thing was AWESOME.
Tan dysmorphic disorder, ha!
I had it too. Every wedding I go to looks like the bride went on honeymoon before the ceremony. I feel bad for the poor, poor pasty grooms. I swear it looks like they mail ordered these girls from the Carribean or somewhere!
We went camping on our honeymoon. In Duluth. We were so tuckered out when we got there that we set up the tent, rolled out the bags, and went to sleep. It wasn't even dark out yet.
fun. fun, fun, fun, fun, it's all good
I LOVE THAT SONG! It is an instant pick me up simply for its silliness - ketchup on mac n cheese, the little gourmet ones.
I am a big BNL fan though the more recent stuff has not been as wonderful as their older stuff.
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon too- PERFECT for honeymoons, b/c you say- "How much does it cost?", then you pay, then you show up. THE END. After planning a wedding, I don't think I could've made ANY FURTHER DESICIONS. We're not what I would consider "cruise types", but it was fun...
Also, BNL always put me in a good mood! ALWAYS. I heard they have a new kids' cd that I'm going to have to check out...
Also, that is probably how I would have spelled "desicions" the week after I got married... GAWD.
I think you just may be coming out of the TISWWM phase! I feel the humor coming back...
Still wondering what a cruise and seasonal cookies have in common though?
but not a real green dress, that’s cruel
Being that BNL are from Ontario, CA which is pretty close to here, I’ve had the opportunity to see them in some smaller venues……LOVE THEM—they put on a great show. I’m just glad that people have stopped throwing Mac and Cheese at them—I always left with orange powder in my hair.
The Toddler Cruise, huh? They start with the wacky themes at our daycare 6/23……American Idol Days, Top Chef……you name it!
I might have had a lame honeymoon but I've been married for so friggin long I can't remember. However, on your other topic, you do know that you can make *sailboats* (theme!) out of slice and bake cookies, right, SUPAH MOM?
BUT NOT A REAL GREEN DRESS, THAT'S CRUEL!
I love that they use that Iggy Pop song for the commercial. I set it as the ringtone for when my friend, Christa, calls me because it's so obnoxious and loud. I love it.
Ahh, cruise life! I have been on three cruises but not a single one with the hubster. He has never been on a cruise and we keep trying to plan one but so far we haven't had the time yet. God I miss all the food, and drinks with umbrellas.
I love BNL. My kids are addicted to their new song "789". Funny!
And, HA! cruise theme... at a daycare! Just weird.
i've never been on a cruise. i keep thinking i want to go on one, but then going to a caribbean island all inclusive always seems better, so.. uh.. i never get around to the cruise part. i think if i took a cruise it would have to be to, like, alaska. hey! that's a great idea, actually! now i want to go to alaska.
When I read the title of this post I immediately smiled and sighed. "If I had a Million dollars" is one of my top five favorite songs -EVER. It reminds me of the best people in my life, and the best time of my life. So. Good. I am right there with you, Sister Geek.
Also - I laugh at that commercial every time, too. As if I have no idea what is about to happen. EVERY. TIME.
Aaaa - such goodness:
"If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!"
Am I the only person that wants to know what SC you brought to the "toddler cruise"? Somehow the suggestions of soccer balls no longer seem appropriate.
Of course the Jason Masks might be MORESO appropriate but I'm a TF (twisted fuck) so YMMV.
Our honeymoon: 5 days of torrential rain in Maui left us with a LOT of Shark Week to watch on Discovery Channel. I especially loved the episode about the woman IN Maui who was devoured by a shark, not five miles from our beach. Awesome.
We went to Cancun on our honeymoon which our friends made fun of because the husband and I are both really fair skinned (he's a redhead, to boot). Before heading outside each day we slathered on the sunscreen...went through 2 bottles in 5 days. Lame.
Never been on a cruise. I would have to eat the dramamine themed cookies.
A cruise theme? For young children?
Are you sure you're not "living in the code"? (new smutty 90210 show reference in case you didn't know.)
andreaunplugged - I too was so proud of myself that I didn't need an explanation for the post title. I was having a glorious "connected to Tessie" moment. :)
I'd also like to know what SC you ended up bringing.
I don't think your honeymoon was lame at all! I love mini-golf (and food - especially yummy buffets where you can have the variety meal).
Oh, and can I just add...
Those pictures TOTALLY don't look like you at all! You look so DIFFERENT! heehee - sorry just couldn't resist. :)
I LOVE that song! And YES, I HAVE always wanted a monkey. But my mom and her boyfriend have some (yes, MULTIPLE monkeys), so now I know what it's like to own them, so now? NOT SO MUCH.
Prepare to crown the winner of The Lamest Newlyweds Ever! We went to Disneyland on our honeymoon 14 years ago. And that's not the lame part, we love Disneyland so that part's awesome. What is lame is that we left early one night, grabbed a pizza at on of those cheap places in a strip mall across the street and went back to the hotel to watch the season finale of 90210. And we were all worried we were going to have so much fun we'd miss it. We kept checking our watches, "Okay in one hour we have to go so we don't miss 90210!" Totally lame, but good times.
Fun Fact: I am a member of the BNL fanclub. Laugh if you must, but we get first choice of tickets for concerts. I've never sat further back than front row and I've seen them five times. Ok, once, I sat in the back and it was awful. Hence the joining of the fanclub.
I also like cruises. We took one for our honeymoon, too.
I think I'm even more in love with you than before. Is that possible?
LAME NEWLYWEDS?? Adam and I rented a U-Haul two days after our wedding and drove it from Appleton, Wisconsin to Seattle, Washington in two and a half days. We stayed in the cheapest fleabag motels and Adam wouldn't agree to stopping to sightsee anywhere because we were in a huge fuck-off U-Haul ( I DID get him to park in the bus parking at Mt. Rushmore after some fighting...). LAME!
Hi Tessie,
Just a quick self-serving comment to let you know I deleted my blog by mistake. Long story, sad ending. I have spent the weekend crying and hating myself.
Anyhoo, life must go on so I have created a new blog named, wait for it, wait for it... Petunia Face! But I have a new URL: www.petuniafacedgirl.blogspot.com
Please swing by and say hi. I've lost all contacts and it's a little lonely over there.
Thanks!
Never tooken a cruise...nope. I always thought cruises were for the old folk, but I have been told otherwise. Looking at maybe doing an Alaskan Kenai Peninsula kind of thing. And even if I don't like the cruise I am down with the whole "all you can eat" situation.
I kind of want to go on a cruise. But more like a Norwegian fjord cruise, or a cruise to Antarctica, in which case the word "cruise" is a TOTAL misnomer.
Were your seasonal cookies little, tiny deck chairs? Drink cards? Hot tubs? Inquiring minds are dying to know over here!
Fun fact 2: I was at the concert that prompted Erica to join the fan club and get better seats. I flew to Texas to go to that show and the seats were the worst I've ever had at a BNL show. We both joined the fan club the next morning, I think.
Yes, I flew to Texas to see a Barenaked Ladies concert. The show here was sold out so what was I supposed to do?
Toddler Cruise??? that is awesome!!
I loved the cruises we went on. Great times. I am ready to go on another one. Your old lady wearing culottes comment cracked me up.
This will make you chuckle T (and those of you who know my DH) So I was reading this last night, and my hubby was reading it over my shoulder. He was trying to figure out what brand of milk was in the picture of your breakfast.
Lame honeymoon story - we had a VCR in the room and we rented movies from the concierge. I know we watched Jurassic Park, but I can't remember the others. I wanted to watch Bridget Jones (since I was now a smug married for all of 2 days and wanted to see it from my new perspective, ha) but he wouldn't go for that.
Nice Becky. You couldn't have said you flew here to see me???
To say you were tan at your wedding is an understatement. You looked like an islander, which I hated because I looked even more whitey mc-white white than usual! I guess it was YOUR day and all and I shouldn't complain, but you know how it is! :)
1) Love the song.
2) We stayed at a Ceasar's resort in the Poconos for our honeymoon, complete with a champaign glass hot tub in our room. There was also a heart-shaped private swimming pool, "starry ceiling," and some unfortunate mirrors! It was tacky and awesome. We also mini-golfed. We repeatedly joked that it was exactly like being on a cruise but without the boat, and with more hiking. May I have the lame prize now? (We totally loved it, by the way, I would do it again in a heartbeat.)
That song always makes me feel happy, too. "But not a real green dress, that's cruel."
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