*I bought a new water bottle at Target this week, and...it is WAY too big. It holds 52 OUNCES for chrissakes. That is RIDICULOUS. Plus, it's too big for my absorbent stone coaster thingee and now I leak ice water sweat all over my "important work documents" (aging sticky notes and assorted restaurant napkins).
*I once spent over 12 hours in a booth at our favorite college dive bar.
*Back in my day, you could get a 20 oz beer there for $1.25.
*Or, you could go to the now-defunct "Continental Cowboy" for 10-cent drafts, which the TABC later outlawed on the grounds that it "encouraged binge drinking". YA THINK?
*I cannot stop buying AD bathing suits. She is at a stage right now where she just looks SO CUTE in EVERYTHING. Don't we all, this time of year?
*I'm mildly obsessed with Boston Market lately. I keep going back and back and BACK for the 1/4 dark Tuscan chicken meal with Caesar salad. Man, that chicken is greasy and delicious, and the skin falls right off so you can eat it in one crispy, saturated-fat-laden bite. Sorry meat-avoiders.
*If I get ONE MORE form from the US Census Bureau at work, I am setting this place on FIRE and walking away, cackling like the mad fucking hatter.
*My sister emailed to tell me she had received the mug she had ordered, and the subject of her email was "Nudie Magazine Day!!". Now come on. That is hilarious. She really needs a blog.
*Come to think of it, whenever someone habitually sends me funny and/or well-written emails, I have a bad habit of insisting that they start a blog. Pretty sure that's annoying. Also, I read ENOUGH blogs as it is.
*These aren't really very...FACT-y this week. They're more like "fun(ish) sentences, none of which deserves its own post". Well, except for the 12-hours-in-a-booth-at-a-dive-bar thing. I could probably talk more about that. If I remembered it.
Your Hero
The International Symbol for "Texas"
About Me
- Tess
- Tess is a recently divorced single mom living thousands of miles from her family and friends. So she's got that going for her, which is nice. Email her at trueishstory AT gmail DOT com.
48 comments:
The fact that this is up at 1ish in the morning makes me suspicious that this was actually a Fun Prewritten Fact Thursday Night post.
Also, why am I up and reading about strangers lives at 1am?
Ahhhh......George's. Not only home of the 20-oz beer for $1.25 but also home of the BEST rolls & ranch dip and El Nino potatoes. THAT'S IT.....I now NEED a baked potato smothered in cut-up chicken fried steak, cream gravy and cheese. Damn those were good! And how can we forget the cheeseburger baskets? Weren't those like $3.50 for a cheeseburger and basket of fries??
We should all go back and enroll in university RIGHT NOW! :-)
For some crazy reason though....I think we would find ourselves in more "trouble" than before! ;-)
Holy crap.....an El Nino is now $8.49!!! I also didn't see the Cheeseburger basket on the menu anymore.... :-(
At those kinda prices I couldn't have afforded George's back when we were at university.
I think that is entirely too much funny for one family. That shit should be rationed. STOP BOGARTING THE FUNNY TESSIE FAMILY!
Wait, what am I saying. Get that girl a blog so I can cyber stalk her too!
:)
aaaaaahhhh! george's! i just had a flashback. thank you for that. 12 hours in a booth there? WE MUST KNOW.
cool, mover and listen to my Friday song.
AR
I do not know George's but there was the Wooden Nickel and the 3rd Base Bar (or The BASE as we liked to call it.) Both of which I spent WAY WAY WAY too much time and also only vaguely remember that time. Good thing I lived two blocks from the Nickel (Bad thing?!)
Mad Fucking Hatter that made me laugh!
The emailer is so flattered and gleeful with your YOU SHOULD HAVE A BLOG comment that they are thus rendered incapable of stringing even two cohesive thoughts together. Now the pressure is ON, the emailer chokes and can't bring the well-written or funny anymore.
I think you may have created Email Impotence. (Solution: Viagramail. Please consult your doctor if you are funny or write well for four hours or more.)
Paula! START YOUR GODDAMNED BLOG already! Don't make me set one up for you and email you the address!
xoxo
I am forever wanting to set places on fire and walk away cackling.
And your sister is as funny as you are. It runs in families, the funny.
GEORGE'S!!!!!!!!!! I have been waiting for you to talk about the BEST PLACE EVAH on your blog. Reading Woz's comment about the food is making my mouth water. I need a Big O right now, with the block of ice floating on the top from the frosty mug. AHHHHHHH!!!!
OH MY GOD! They have fried pickles now!!!! Why didn't they have those back then????
El Nino, I miss you.
I've probably come damn close to 12 hours. Ah, George's. In college I didn't drink beer, so I was a fan of the Margarito. Which 20 oz of Margarita? Not fucking around. Did you know Greg? You know Greg. The waiter? The one everyone knew was gay but wouldn't come out? He's gay now. One time he cooked me dinner. He used china.
Slynnro! That IS a fun fact!
China. You are kidding me. So awesome.
It's weird to think that you and I were probably there all the time, like TOGETHER, all SLIDING DOORS STYLE.
I know.
And then there was this other time in an effort to convince everyone he wasn't gay, he brought a scrapbook of things he has done with his girlfriend. But I was like dude. It's a scrapbook. You made. It is SO GAY.
I think my coworker has that same water bottle. He staggers around carrying it, and never drinks more than 1/64th of it.
(Also, my iGoogle homepage is not updating feeds. I do not want to use Google Reader. This is not YOUR problem, but I need to vent my frustration. ARGGGGGH.)
Also, also, little kid swimsuits are AWESOME.
I just looked at my own water bottle (which I consider fairly big) for reference, and it holds 24 ounces. YOURS IS HUGE. I'm surprised you can even lift it when it's full! Not that I'm calling you weak. But 52 ounces is a LOT.
Enjoy Boston Market. We don't have any here, and Chip HATES the fact that we still get the commercials. I hear it every time one is on: WHY ARE THEY SHOWING THE COMMERCIAL IF I CAN'T EAT THE FOOD????
One time we actually got off the freeway and drove around a strip mall (TWICE) because he **thought** he saw a Boston Market.
I went to school in College Station and there was a random bar that served penny pitchers once a week. PITCHERS OF BEER. FOR A PENNY. I can't remember if the bar went under because they were so obviously not making a profit or if TABC shut down that promotion too.
The Hall, another bar, used to serve quarter mixed drinks on Thursday nights. I still miss those days.
Did you get one of those things that look a like the water cooler jug with a handle? People in my gym use those. I've gotten so thirsty lately that I just bring a gallon jug. It's practical AND embarrassing!
And the US Census Bureau is is tremendous pain when all 50 of my clients have some form from them.
I'm going to set the building on fire like Milton. And then I'm going to put strychnine in the guacamole.
[Totally random aside: I gave my 14 year old (at the time) cousin a sub-account on my AOL, and I used to get messages all the time about the language he used and "threats" he made on chat boards and such. I was advised to "discipline" him. LOL! Anyway, because of that experience I caught myself wondering if the "netnannies" would "flag" what I wrote above. God I hope so. LOL]
SLP-What about the Dixie Chicken? Is that place still kickin? Fun fact! I was on the opening team of a restaurant in College Station as a corporate trainer, and so spent a few weeks there.
Bonus fun fact! Good buddy and commenter above Woz is married to an A-G-G-I-E.
Ahhh, college bars, fun times! The best weird college thing that I can think of though was at Southern Illinois... they have bagle carts! These vendors set up shop in the middle of the night and cook bagles with tons of weird shit on them to all the drunks stumbling down the street. The best part though is that they are really freakin' good! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
dude, my college drinking SUCKED. our campus banned kegs the year i started, so frat parties could only have CANS of beer. and then, we technically had no bars in town, we had three "delly"s (yes, spelled that way) that were all right next door to each other. and a pitcher of shitty bud light at the dive-iest bar of the three (where, uh, i worked) was $5.50, no beer specials. WTF.
I love Slynnro's story about Greg and the scrapbook. That is so CBU.
I have been to the Continental Cowboy; good times.
Unrelated to anything, but I think there is a Sonic in St. Paul now!
Dude, I AM an A-G-G-I-E, thanks very much. :)
The Dixie Chicken is still alive and well, and very much a local institution.
I am now for the third time in a row living in a neighborhood where there is a closed Boston Market. It's just sitting there and mocking me--if I had just moved here a year later there would have been one just down the street. And maybe my patronage would have been just enough to keep it from folding. Bah!
I think any less than 5 bathing suits is RIDICULOUS, every girls knows that! I'm really into swimming pool "noodles" and other odd pool toys. The noodles are the best styrofoam invention since -I don't know, since TUFF STUFF TOYS. They are cheap and GREAT, and when you are asked to go on Survivor or another desert island I think you should take A NOODLE as your luxury item. They can withstand any ocean.
(what did this have to do with the conversation? you might ask? AD's summer atire, I might say)
Be careful making statements about setting your work place on fire. Because if by chance it did burn down? Even if your alibi was that you were making seasonally appropriate cookies for your daughter's school they would still think you did it.
Yes, I bought one of those bottles too. Besides taking about 45 minutes to fill up at our water cooler, that shit was heavy! I didn't sign up for water AND a workout!!
Last summer Lucy was about the same age that AD is now, and I swear, she had about 6 bathing suits--Including a pik leopar print bikini. It is a great age for the clothes.
*that should be piNk leoporD.
Ya gotta love the drunk escapades from college. 12 hours; you DID leave to pee during that time, right?
Right now is when I start regretting the fact that I hated college.
-r-, there is TOTALLY a Sonic in St. Paul now. I wished it into existence. Of course, it went up right next to my OLD house, not my new one, but whatever.
I remember those .10 taps. That was awesome...as was the drive there drinking Tequila Rose straight up.
I don't think the internets could handle two perpetually pissed off and annoyed sisters.
Ugh, I have the same complaint as above, I so totally want a Sonic in my area, and it pisses me off when I see the commercials. No shit, I think the closest one is in TN, and I am in NY/NJ! WTF are the commercials playing here for?
At least they dont try and make us jealous with In N Out burger commercials here. But STILL.
Not only an A-G-G-I-E.....but a BQ at that!! What the hell was I thinking?
Yes, The Chicken is still there and dusty as ever!
I married an Aggie too and lord our future child is either going to hate us or, um, hate us a lot for all the maroon we plan to dress him/her in.
Ah, the Chicken...I spent some good, quality time there this past Christmas. I was pleased with the beer consumption for a bunch of 30 year olds!! Bryan even thought it was cool and coming from a Red Raider, that was HUGE.
Ha ha! If you remembered it. Ha!
Good times.
"Nudie Magazine Day!!"
I burst out laughing at that.
I LOVE ADAM SANDLER!!!!
I am quite frequently quoting lines from him and his movies. I especially like to break out with, "NO! Conditioner is better. It leaves your hair feeling silky and smooth."
Or how about this for old school, "Nah yes, I'm a talking goat!"
Anyone out there now what I'm talking about?
O.K. I'll shut up now.
I've once stayed in a bar until the sun came up, but never twelve hours straight. I admire you. That, is dedication.
PS: I like that you have a friend named Woz--I have one too. She is NOT married to an AGGIE.
Yep... if it weren't for Boston Market, my family would probably starve. Literally.
Tess - I have gotten a ton of those too! No wonder we have to pay taxes, all they pay for is stupid paper and stamps. Do you think the governmnet has to pay for stamps, I mean it is paying themselves. I digress...
I am still all upset that I missed this week's posts. Seriously, I'm actually damp-eyed and heart-poundy about it. PROBLEM MUCH??
I would totally read your sister's blog! She sounds as funny as you are!
I'm bad for telling people to start a blog too.
And I'm a little pissed that I missed Nudie Magazine Day.
We were coming back from Austin today and we were stopping in Waco to eat lunch. I told B. to stop at George's Big O and he ignored me and pulled in to Burger King!! So dissapointing.. and they had a big sign that said they couldn't serve tomatoes because of the salmonella scare. Worst lunch ever.
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