*Did our waiter last night insist on telling us that we couldn't order milk because "the last jug had just gone bad"? Why not just say, "SORRY, WE SEEM TO BE OUT OF MILK", while conspicuously omitting any mention of spoiling?
*Would you ever allow your child to wallow in a bonafide MUD PIT while wearing her brand-new white t-shirt and monogrammed bloomers?
*Can I not buy BEER in a box?
*Do food marketers persist in labeling things CHOLESTEROL-FREE! As if this were the 1980s and we still CARED about that shit?
*Does our eye doctor insist on calling ME to remind me about BR's appointments, as if I am his "Administrative Professional"?
*Does Excel not "insert a sheet" to the RIGHT of the last sheet; you know, where I want it ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME?
*Am I still wicked cranky, even after watching Things Younger Than McCain (Plutonium!)?
43 comments:
Bwa! And, I want to know who the offender was that put AD in the pit.
And I would totally go over and shoot that doctor if he called me about my husband's appointments.
That Excel thing has ALWAYS bothered me!
Did you allow the mud puddle thing, or was it BR? It's totally something Homer would do, just as he used a brand new towel to wipe up blue paint, claiming some sort of emergency.
They do have the Mini Heineken Kegs (I think they hold around gallon)...closest thing to beer in a box.
That mudpit thing was all BR. I mean, that shirt is BRAND NEW in that picture. You can practically SEE the creases. I did get the mud out of the bloomers, but not the shirt.
Of course, I didn't try that hard. But still. WHO DOES THAT?
Excel is the worst program ever. And I am basing that on years of having to complete RFPs that some idiot thought would be perfect to put into Excel instead of, I don't know, effing Word?
You put AD in that mud pit, didn't you?
P.S. If I have to hear our weather guy say one more time, "Well, folks. Looks like today was about 20 degrees below average again," I will punch someone.
haaaa. oh dear. i'm sorry to hear about the mud pit.
I HATE that excel stupid function. i ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AGREE.
Weather people!!!!!
I avoid Excel like the freakin' plague.
I'd absolutely tell the eye doctor receptionist to call BR about his appointment and reminder him/her that I am not BR's mother. I would. Really.
Beer in a box... ah that may make me chuckle all night long and I have no idea why. YET it seems so logical - I mean there is wine in a box, why not beer???
I didn't even need to read your comment to know that it was BR and not daycare that put her in the mudpit. Sounds like such a guy thing to do!
I was thinking of the mini-kegs too.
As a fellow daily Excel user, AMEN on the inserting worksheets.
And a big 'ole "hell yeah" to every one of those!
I generally need my new sheet inserted to the left. Apparently I am the oddball that caused them to create it that way.
Sorry 'bout that. ;)
The weather people do that because you are in TEXAS. I learned a whole new way of predicting the weather when I moved here, namely IGNORING the weather reports altogether and relying on my migraines :)
BTW it's raining here this afternoon.
HA!
But "ew" on the milk thing. That would have put me off my dinner for sure.
I hate when things are labeled "FAT FREE!!" all PROUD, as if that makes marshmallows a HEALTH FOOD.
Aaaah! I have an entirely different excel headache that PISSES ME OFF but it has to do with copying and pasting.
Whenever my husband has a day off, his manager calls him for some stupid shit. He AlWAYS calls my cell number. I ALWAYS say "this is his wife's cell number would you like his phone number?". He always tries to get me to take a message - F that. I make him call him himself. EVERY TIME.
I think BR should be scrubbing the shirt. ;-)
My dentist actually scolded ME, in person, because my husband hadn't made an appointment to have his teeth cleaned. All I wanted was positive reinforcement for my newly-instituted dedication to flossing. BUT NO.
OMG, Excel!! SO annoying.
But she's so CUTE in her mud pit. Seriously!
Also, next time the eye doctor calls, you should politely say, "Thanks for letting me know, but since it's his appointment, would you mind calling him directly? Kthxbai."
At a gas station in Auburn, AL they sell beer by the gallon...yes, it comes in what looks like a milk jug filled with draft beer. As college students, we were ALL OVER THAT. haha.
Here starting usually in April the "weather team" says every damned Monday that it's going to be sunny over the week-end. Every week-end it's complete horse shit. After living here 16 years I've decided they do it on purpose to keep people from killing themselves when they find out the weather is going to remain crap until July 4.
I want to know why when I call the doctor's office for the advice nurse and they insist they have to call me back, I tell them I'm at work, give them only my work number, and beg them to call me at work, but they ALWAYS call my home. Every time. Clearly, it's time to tell them I've "changed" my home phone number to my cell number because they are incapable of calling me at work.
MUD + Toddler = wife's happiness and enjoyment? WTF? I bet he was proud too.
I believe that thay make juice in Capri Sun packets and in a Juicy Juice Box, why not beer? Cute little straw to punch it in with. Or Appletini's. That would be great for the beach!
And someone needs to tell MC Cain to go lay down, the mortician has been looking for him.
Rain...oh we need rain so bad here in central FL. It actually got to 97 last week now we have wildfires like crazy (at least half set by crazy fire bugs). Last count for the latest fire was over 100 homes burned in past 2 days or so.
Really sad.
Unfortunately, with our usual summer rain (which is not here yet) comes lightning storms. INTENSE lighting. It's not uncommong for weather dude to report 30,000 strikes in one hour. With lightning comes fires.....UGH!
I know this wasn't totally a weather post but I thought I would share :)
Oh, wow. I would have been incredibly pissed about the mud.
And Excel TOTALLY SUCKS.
Monogrammed bloomers!
Oh, and I HATE THAT about Excel. HATE.
That Excel thing pisses me off too. There's a lot about Excel that pisses me off.
That picture is just so awesome. Better not let the Pooples find out where that mud pit is, or AD is going to have a friend.
Ha! The mud pit! Why bother with clothes? WHY OH WHY not just strip her down to her diaper????
OMG on the mud pit. I would have killed Hub. KILLED HIM!
Excel pisses me off on a daily basis as well. The worksheet thing, not wanting to keep my formula.
If there were beer in a box, tonight would be the night. Well, not for me, but totally one of those days.
I am with you on Excel (though it IS pretty damn easy to move it lol)
I am just dreading the upgrade to Vista. I have nightmares about it.
You are just hilarious. #1 for letting AD bathe in the mud in her cute little white outfit (also, she looks adorable) and #2 for declaring that you are not BR's "administrative professional". Hilarious.
Our local news channel call themselves the STORMTEAM and they are some annoying mofos! Several years ago during the near-constant La Nina coverage (can't everything in the entire world be blamed on either El Nino or La Nina?) we labeled them the CORNTEAM and it's just so true.
I lived in Texas for three years and I swear it never rained for more than five minutes. Why did they insist on talking about it so much?
I once had a waitress tell me that they threw out hte whole-wheat pasta because it "smelled funny." Ugh. Can't you just say that you ran out?
And, this is regarding your last post, but Ava is one of those names that even if it is popular, it doesn't grate on your nerves. I apologize, I'm a complete name nerd and had to go there.
I LOVE that she is in the mud! I TOTALLY grew up playing in the ditch after a big rain.
I seriously think that all the grubbiness she can get into now will only help build antibodies so she'll be healthy later. So many parents are germ freaks, yet there kids are always sick. A little mud never hurt anybody! Except their mama, that has to clean the mud out of the new shirt and monogrammed bloomers, of course! ;-)
Beer in a box! Yes!
Guess what! The newest version of Excel that was recently installed for me (I think Excel 2007) adds the new worksheet to the RIGHT of the current worksheet! I had always been bothered by that too and was THRILLED (how sad that it thrills me) to see that it was 'fixed' in the new version! Get on your IT department for an upgrade!
I totally agree about Excel. Not that I use it anymore, but that inserting sheets to the left thing used to drive me batshit crazy back when I worked at an office.
I know the answer to the mud pit question. If there exists a mudpit and a kid in close proximity, the amount of screaming the kid will make is directly related to the distance from the pit, so that the further from the pit equals more and louder screaming. Closer to the pit equals less screaming, sometimes with pauses as the kid tries to determine if she will get to go any closer. IN THE PIT equals BLESSED SILENCE. The clothing the kid is wearing at the time is irrelevant.
I hope you gave BR a big, fat dose of "THINK IT THROUGH, FOHA THE LOVE OF GAWD!"
Also, letting AD play in the mud seems anti-fussypants. I'm just sayin...
Erica, you are right, it does not SEEM like a Fussypants thing to do, does it?
It's weird with BR, though, he is not at all fussy about getting dirty. Neither of us are. I think it's because we are generally outdoorsy types.
I'm with you on the beer thing. Why do they package it so small? No one has just one do they?
The McCain thing made me snort. He's 3 years older than my parents and they are like SUPER old and tired. LOL.
I cannot even fathom how the mere thought of placing a child wearing WHITE into a tub of mud would make sense to anyone, even a man!
I'm with you 100% on the Excel thingy. I've been using Excel probably since the beta stage and I've yet to figure out how to print all 15 worksheets at one time versus one at a time, have you?
File, Print, Entire workbook.
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