Anyway, you are all so sweet to ask about how BR did in the race (even though this is MY blog, you BR-loving fuckers!). He finished in under 4 hours, which is a respectable time considering the difficulty of the course (high) and his level of preparation (shockingly low). Do you guys know any natural athletes whose bodies seem to regenerate ala the cheerleader on Heroes, and if so do you have an intense urge to punch them square in the nuts? Just wondering.
Speaking of punches to the nuts, guess which of these things happened on the return trip?
- Flight from Boston to La Guardia delayed TWO HOURS, all of which is spent sitting on the runway with a pissed off toddler
- La Guardia gate agent has nasty standoff with The Steamrollah featuring funny accents and pissed owahf screeching about "attitude"
- In a rare lapse of Thinking It Through Foah the Love Of Gawd, BR forgets which of the FIVE airport terminals houses our car, resulting in hour-long investigative effort ala CSI: OMFG He Would Have Shot Me Dead If I Had Done This
- Tessie declares day "the worst of her life, and that includes the day her childhood dog Sammy got run over in front of her"
So, yeah. Good times. Pretty sure we're out of beer now, so I'll get on that picture thing shortly (slash whenever).
23 comments:
Screw the photos, go buy some more beer.
The Sammy incident was traumatic….mostly because you declared that it was all my fault. Hmph.
Good call on the beer. You didn't happen to get video of the Steamrollah/gate agent standoff, did you? Worst day ever notwithstanding, that sounds hilarious.
Oy that does not sound like a good airport experience.
I'm with Saly. Go buy some beer. But no MOJITOS, remember???
Toddler plus airport equals disaster most of the time, so I just thank my lucky stars the few times it doesn't end in a complete meltdown. Glad to know that you made it home in one piece and that you had at least some beer in the house.
Beer was definitely the priority. Once again you've shown you have your priorities straight. Sounds like a hellish trip home.
I am guessing all of these things happened on the return trip, thus the need for more BEER! Dear gracious woman, you need a vacation from vacation!
Why is it that every single post, I want to comment with "Dear Tessie. You are hysterical. Love Stephanie."?
Also, WTF natural athletes. I have been TRYING to do a long run in preparation for the 10 miler I have coming up and I hit 6 miles and suddenly want to die.
Dude. You mean the La Guardia agent hadn't heard about The Steamrollah? I figured his reputation would have proceeded him.
Did you introduce AD to the joy of chowdah?
Erica, no! She has some kind of weird carb aversion that precludes eating anything with bread or potatoes in it! What the FUCK! Her loss. We'll work on it.
Did you know that Aaron doesn't understand that you can land at a different terminal than the one you left at? We always use the $90,000,000/day terminal parking because we are lazy yuppie assholes and when we arrive at a different terminal? DOES.NOT.COMPUTE. Shuttle? What are you talking about? We parked in the terminal? Our car's right there?
UGH.
Totally has nothing to do with your story except the airport/parking connection but it made me think of the time my hubby and I took my dad to Scotland. We drove his car to the airport (2.5 hours from where we all lived). We did remember where we parked after getting off a 10 hour flight...but my highly educated but sometimes very common sense limited father left the radar plugged in to the lighter for the 10 days we were gone - AND was surprised that the battery was dead. His first instinct? To call his wife which made me lose my shit. I asked what she was supposed to do from 2.5 hours away. I called airport security and one of their trucks gave us a jump. But it was midnight and I was tired and wanted to go straight home.
My childhood pet was not run over in front of me, but she WAS run over by my gym teacher. IT SUCKED.
Oh, dude.
Thinking of travel gives me NIGHTMARES since I had a baby.
Whoa. Sounds like f---ing AGONY. Do you get all clasterphobic-like in those types of airline situations. Like, I MIGHT NEVER GET OUT OF HERE. Or, I MIGHT RATHER BE DEAD.
I do.
Glad you're home and WOOT! to BR.
You are the funniest. EVAH.
It sounds like you might want to punch that regenerating husband -- I mean cheerleader -- in the nuts for more than one reason. Congrats on finding your car!
I'm with Saly. Go get more beer. We can wait a little longer for the photos.
just reading about it makes me want a beer. I would pay cashmoney to see video of the "The Steamrollah and the Gate Agent".
Can't wait for pictures! But who am I to talk - I have no new baby pictures since I'm to lazy to wait for the download
Don't you love when the husband finally makes a mistake, and while it's totally infuriating at the time, in the back of your mind you're thinking, "OH, NOW I HAVE FREAKING LEVERAGE. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
When Jason does this, I very sweetly don't say anything, but then he gets mad (at himself) anyway, so it sucks. It's like when I make a mistake, he gets mad. When he makes a mistake, HE gets mad. Where's my chance to rub it in?
Whoa, that travel sounds awful! Have not taken children on planes yet. I think I'll hold off until they're grown.
Did only ONE of those things happen on the return trip, or ALL?
THE "CSI: OMFG" made me LMAO.
Sophie has a girl in her class named "Tess."
I just flew Delta out of LaGuardia and it SUCKED. Never, Never use either of them. There was a single mom traveling with 2 girls under the age of two. No one offered to help her from the airport. They stood there and had her take the double stroller apart and then pass it through, they had her pass one child at a time thru the detector. HELLO! The first girl was just learing to walk and the second one was crawling. Fortunately, there were several nice woman on line behind her. We held the girls, took off shoes, coats, and then redressed them on the other side. It was out of control. They should go back to profiling. At the very least a woman with kids needs help. Shame on the security guards, the matrons standing around, the airline. I'm sorry to take over you post. But it pisses me off.
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