*BR is positively insufferable about Hillary Clinton's performance in the TX primaries (he supports Clinton, and I support Obama). This is merely a symptom of a larger problem, which is his penchant for taunting me about EVERY DAMN THING. He taunts me when I get an answer wrong on 1 vs. 100. He taunts me when I forget to record Jon and Kate Plus 8. He fucking taunts me when my favorite American Idol contestant gets shot down by Simon Cowell. Men, listen to me. I know taunting or "ball-busting" or whatev is a fine Y-Chromosome tradition, but as CONSTANT RUNNING COMMENTARY, it is enjoyed to a lesser extent among your lady friends. You don't see a group of women doing an end-zone dance every time one of them accidentally wears mismatched socks. Well, you don't see it on the OUTSIDE, anyway.
*Speaking of both BR and American Idol, I think David Hernandez is hot, although he's not my favorite on the show (I like David Archuletta and Jason Castro, thanks for asking). Anyway, if you're having trouble keeping your AI Davids straight, I'm talking about this guy:
When I mentioned it last night, BR was all "Oh, I TOTALLY called that. He's SO youah type". Heh. And also: ARGG! What the fuck does that mean? Although he is 1) hot and 2)Fake Hispanic, so maybe it IS a total no-shitter. He's probably a fucking MAD TAUNTER too.
So! Are you feeling at all uplifted by this talk? Yeah, me neither. Well, maybe this will help:
Mr. Truvy's Hair Salon
Result: Not Half Bad**I'm B-AH and I did not approve this message. Especially the part where I'm doing heyah with my shirt off.**
44 comments:
You need a category for your B-AH posts because they are hilarious. Also, what a great daddy!
i started off feeling pretty ambivalent toward hilary at the start of the primaries, but now i cannot. effing. stand. her, and i think it's because of her supporters. and their TAUNTING, no doubt.
I think the Funk is part of the week...at first it was just part of Monday but it's spread and it's full on funk today.
What's up with guys doing that whole competitive thing about your opinion. FH does this ALL the time - if I'm rooting for anything he'll pick the opposition JUST so we have something to be competitive about - it's like SWEET JEBUS Can't we behave like a freaking team? Is it impossible for you to be on MY SIDE.
I should have stayed in bed this week.
Ewwww...you like the stripper dude on AI?
Well, at least you are a FUNNYASS Eeyore.
And shit, man, Hillary's voice is killing me. KILLING ME.
Oh the taunting. Yeah, thanks, Texas for upping the TAUNTING about F'ing Hillary. UGH.
Please tell her to STOP with the YELLING!!
Wait, why am I down here now?
While our husbands share the paranoia gene, they do not share the hairstyling gene. Damn. 'Cause I'm not so great at it either.
I am so with you on the Hillary thing. I wanted to cry this morning.
Seriously.
Texas, you piss me smooth off this morning.
Another check in the "reasons this state annoys me" box.
I love the hair salon pictures. I can't imagine what the result would be if my husband tried to do one of my niece's hair.
I should clarify that I'm not AGAINST Hillary Clinton or anything. I just prefer Obama.
Again, another male gene trait to taunt the one's they love - jerks! Ummm, did AD have to go out in public after Dad's attempt at the do? lol! Not that I could have done any better being the mom of 3 boys...
You and I agree about EVERYTHING from politics to AI to KICKING PEOPLE WHO TAUNT US WHERE IT HURTS MOST.
Just saying.
My hubby shares the hair stylin' gene! He totally rocks Supergirl's hair. Me, on the other hand, cannot get two ponytail's straight to save my life! Oh and I tagged you for a meme. Feel free to ignore!
I like how seriously BR is taking his job there! Ohh I cannot wait for this little girl to come!!!
Every now and again Ben goes a little overboard on being Mr. Hypercritical. I usually blow a fuse and give it right back to which he says "why are you picking on me?"
How 'bout dishing some back to Mr. Fussypants and see how he likes it.
'course he does get major points for the hairstyling. damn adorable!
I think it's the early March blahs - they strike me every year at about this time. Christ, shouldn't it be Spring already (answer: you live in Portland, Oregon, no it should NOT be Spring already). I just find myself tired of winter, tired of work, blah de blah blah. All is blah.
With those two ponytails, BR has done at least two more than Homer ever has - and we have 2 girls with LOTS of hair!
The taunting thing is totally a Y-chromosone thing. So annoying.
Since I am always wrong at home, I am constantly and obsessively looking for ways to call out Paco and say I told you so. It only happens about once a month, but I taunt like a mofo when it happens. So...I'm just saying. Maybe you are right a lot and he's just...oh okay, I know. I'm always on HIS side. But there's a cute picture of him!! Manly men doing sweet dad things kill me!
Awww, piggy tails and a LOVE butt. Too cute.
I don't know, Tessie, He looks like a keeper to me ;)
There are like hundreds of pictures of baby me doing my dad's hair. But it doesn't look like BR's hair is of "do-ing" length.
Adorable! And hilarious, as per usual.
She's alive. (Hillary I mean.)
Ew. David Hernandez gives me the heebie jeebies....especially after I saw the pics of him as a MALE POLE DANCER. Ew. ew ew.
I have been in a funk for about two months now. This time of year SUCKS.
Wow. I guess I need to go take a deep breath now. Or something.
Whoo-hoo! Shirtless BR! :)
I can't believe AD sits still long enough to get pigtails.
Jason likes to taunt/point out things/have convoluted discussions about things that DON'T MATTER and it drives me insane. I'll ask him a yes or no question and it immediately deteriorates into a commentary of How I am Wrong. (This sounds bad, so I'll clarify by saying it's all in a jokey matter, plus I totally don't listen to anything he says.) Plus, I sometimes call him "Mike," short for Micromanager.
MIKE! Oh my god, I LOVE THAT.
Sometimes I'll feel bad about making fun of BR for something, but then I immediately get over it since you guys are a BR-LOVING BUNCH OF MOFOS. So I must not be sullying his good name too terribly. Heh.
I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to his face anyway.
Last night my husband woke me up when he got into to bed, and asked, "Do you want to hear some bad news?" And then he told me Clinton won Texas and Ohio.
And then I was awake all night worrying about it. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
I'm a fan of the BR post - so funny! Also, I am a huge fan of the Jon and Kate Plus 8, I want to be their nanny, but definitely not the mom, because holy christ, momming 8 kids under 7 looks hard.
Does Mr. Truvy take appointments because my kid needs him badly!
BG does SD's hair sometimes and he is actually better at it than his mom!!
Hmm. You're not pregnant, are you?
Heh. Penny, no, I'm not. It's more of an ATTITUDE FUNK. Although I'm wicked annoying pregnant as well.
Hold the phone. David Hernandez (who sucked last night IMO but last week ROCKED) was a POLE DANCER??!?
Must. Go. Google.
I totally agree with your favorites on American Idol.
The foul mood has certainly been going around lately, hopefully it passes soon for all of us!
Seriously, nothing cuter than pig tails and love butt! Except maybe Mr. Truvy's Hair Salon! How could you not love that?!
Then again, the constant need to taunt is freakin' annoying! My hubby's favorite is making fun of the celebs I find HOT! For instance the whole Matthew McConaughey naked bongo incident will NEVER cease being a source of amusement for him.
Hot shirtless daddy styling his little baby daughter's hair into pigtails? OMG, are you trying to KILL me?
So the AI stripper (DH) worked at a GAY strip club ("not that there's anything wrong with that"-from Friends). But BR could have more ammo to shoot at you for liking a hitter for the other team.
DH is very babyfaced and a little too well groomed. Note the eyebrows in last night's performance.
But this IS a singing competition, and the man has PIPES!
I am sorry your in a bit of a funk.
Your blog keeps me away from the Oh Bothers. You need to write a book.
I HEART YOU! And diddo on the winter blah everything-fucking-sucks spectrum. End-zone dance? Classic.
The funk sucks.
But really? The guy who sang Celine?
I'm not disturbed by the David Hernandez thing, since it could be much, much worse. However, David Archuletta? Really? Him? I know he's a cute little kid and all but I just find him soooooo very bland. He certainly isn't an ex-stripper and topless bartender. Thank god for small mercies I suppose. Wait, he's 16, isn't he? I guess the above would be mildly illegal.
I feel the sudden urge to watch Steel Magnolias now. Do you think David Hernandez has track lighting?
heh.
heh heh.
B-AH needs his own category for sure.
I would taunt you if you forgot to record Jon and Kate. Because SERIOUSLY, WHO WOULD DO THAT? It's only the best show on television.
AD is so serious looking, also seriously CUTE. Lastly, is BR's modesty really in question here, what with AD blocking most of his bare-chestedness?
I just had a dream LAST NIGHT that David Hernandez was my boyfriend, and he is HOT. And he used to strip!! (For a gay club, but still.. he's hot..)
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