BR is pumped, even though he doesn't drink coffee (or pop, WHAT THE FUCK?). His family is seriously hahdcore on the Dunkins, that's for sure. The last time they were here they revealed that none of them had ever been to Starbucks. Um, QUE? I thought EVERYONE had? I mean Boston, that's in AMERICA, right? But they also drink plain iced coffee (WRONG on so many levels), so what do they know? I bolt my coffee fast enough without introducing a fucking STRAW into the equation. In summary: wait, what?
We pause for this brief(ish) boring message (totally not pausing):
PSA: Blogger Profiles
- I've had a few new commenters lately (GRACIAS!)(Tourettes en espanol today!), and I've noticed that many of you who use Blogger don't have public profiles (i.e. when I click on your name from your comment, I can't get to your profile and therefore your blog). If that's the way you WANT it, that's totally cool and awesome and earns the BR Seal of Approval, but it has come to my attention that some people DON'T want it that way but just don't know how to change it. If you use Blogger, and you don't mind others finding your blog through the hilarious and poignant comments you no doubt leave, here's what to do:
- Go to your Blogger Dashboard (where you sign into your account)
- Off to the far right, click the Edit Profile link
- Under Edit User Profile, check the "Share My Profile" Box
- Click "Save Profile" at the bottom of the page
- Go ahead and top off your coffee (still totally counting it as one cup)
Hey Skimmers. Yeah, there's more, down here. What's that, this doesn't APPLY to you? How about I APPLY my fist to your kneecap? (why the kneecap?)(this is totally the coffee talking)(NEW TAGLINE!).
44 comments:
I love this post so much. It's completely psychotic which is how I try to start my day at least 5 times a week. It frightens my husband. I'm in CT and HELLS YEAH I prefer DD to Starbucks any day.
It's about time Texas caught up. Damn!
You are way too funny! Er, never been to Starbucks... isn't that like kind of unAmerican? Like never been to McDonald's or never had bacon before... weird. How does one survive WITHOUT Starbucks (drive thru)?
And really I worked at a Caribou coffee for 6 months or so back in the say and that iced coffee thing - BLECK. No matter how much sugar and cream you add that is just BLECK!
I've never been to a Starbucks!
Because I hate coffee.
The end.
I like Duncan donuts ok. They are heavy and cakey and I come from the land of the Krispy Kremes, which are sugar infused with air, sweetness and light.
God almighty Texxie, you need a tranq or you're going to explode!
A Dunkin Donut was created in God's Own Image. Krispy Kremes are horrible and a waste of a hole. HEH.
Back AWAY from the coffee pot. Do it slowly and nobody will get hurt! You crack my Texan ass up!
Growing up in Boston, I was raised loving Dunkin' donuts. But then I moved to Oregon and now like KK donuts too. Evidently, I just love donuts. I'll eat crappy grocery store donuts or gourmet donuts. I love all donuts. Cannot abide DD coffee though. It's probably why I never drank coffee until I moved away from Boston. Peets is the best, Starbucks is the closest. Both are better than DD.
Coffee makes you loud, huh?
Canada is a donut nation. Not Dunkin' Donuts, Tim Horton Donuts. Seriously, there are two TH's in my building, and another 5 across campus. I pass by 3 more on my way to work (a 10 minute drive). It's sad, really, but BR might enjoy it!
Okay, I'm still stuck on the fact that BR doesn't even drink pop. What? Coffee I can kind of understand, as most people have a love or hate relationship with the magic brew, but pop? Seriously? No kind at all. My brain does not comprehend. How does that happen? And what did he drink at the movies before they started selling fake fruit drinks and $10 bottled water?
I used to be a slave to Starbucks and now I am worse than a reformed smoker. They are thieving whores! It's a CUP OF COFFEE. It should not cost FIVE DOLLARS. And I don't like being looked down upon by snooty baristi who invariably get my FIVE DOLLAR COFFEE order WRONG which I don't realize until I'm ten miles away because it is actually a cup of over-priced coffee-flavored molten lava. BAH.
DD's coffee is at least of sound financial value. (Heh.) However, DD should give up on bagels because theirs are THE PENULTIMATE WORST. A travesty to the bagel industry. The bagels even look ashamed of themselves.
I LOVE Dunkin Donuts. I grew up on them in South Texas and when I moved up here to Yankee land, they didn't have them?!?!?! I am so glad to hear they are making their way to our fair burgh. They absolutely make the BEST donuts, down with Krispy Kreme!
Dunkin Donuts definitely had an advantage when we were living in NY because so many of their locations were drive-throughs. If it's snot-freezing cold outside, not having to get out of the car makes a big difference!
NEVER BEEN TO STARBUCKS? OH MY GOD! I NEED THE DEFIB!!!
Also, YAY caffeine high. Love you!
Just got back from Teavana myself. I know, I know... tea.
Um you are INSANE!! I miss drinking massive amounts of coffee.
I do love the iced coffee though, and while I drink my hot coffee black, (because I am a REBEL) my iced is always a double double. Plain iced coffee should be outlawed.
Waste of a hole! The bagels looks ashamed of themselves! God, I love you people.
1)BR doesn't like carbonated stuff, which is why he doesn't drink pop, although he will force down a Sprite if pressed. He drinks Gatorade and Kool-Aid and shit like that.
2)Fun fact! I don't like donuts. I know! I like DD because they have flavored regular coffee (sorry Tilly), and I prefer that to coffee sweetened with syrup.
YOU DON'T LIKE DONUTS??
You are UN-AMERICAN! ;-)
And its because of YOU that I now have performance anxiety. I NEVER had this issue until you popped it into my head making me all insecure and what not.
Woz, that is a damned dirty lie! You never had performance anxiety a day in your life! It's those Brits, they are giving you Nervous Tummy with their politeness and shit. Heh.
whoa whoa WHOA. This post is crazy manic. I feel like I'VE had three cups of coffee after reading it.
I have the same problem with private profiles. I showed you mine, now show me yours! Tit for tat people. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. That kind of thing. :)
I wish I didn't like donuts.
Secret: I like DD French Vanilla flavored ICED COFFEE.
I am living A LIE!
Okay, I am now very very sad that I'm stuck here with all these kids eating lunch and taking naps, because I NEED a boston cream donut from DD. Thanks much. Somebody needs to bring me one. NOW.
I don't mind at all if someone's profile is private, but I worry that some people don't KNOW theirs is private, and so they wonder why I haven't visited their blog slash why I'm such a cold BEEYOCH.
I'll have what you're having. No---TWO of what you're having. And a donut. (Two donuts.)
You are awesome. I did PSA about Blogger profiles once too, remember? But it was for non-Blogger users. Still, great minds and all that.
Also, being obsessed Dunkins is totally a New England thing. I could not BELIEVE how many of those damn places there were in Massachusetts when I was in college. SERIOUSLY.
no kidding on the DD mania in new england.. holy heck. i shouldn't be surprised, considering dc has been known to build starbucks ACROSS THE STREET from each other, but.. i don't know. that many DD's seems creepier for some reason.
dear tessie:
please send those ec bastards to little rock.
love,
dfy who needs an f'n donut.
Just thinking about Dunkin has be smelling the room for fresh coffee bean aroma - alas there is not caffeine near.
Living vicariously through your coffee high - sit down for a second and feel it pulsing through your veins for me, kay?
I just re-read this and realized I sound like a junky. A pregnant, uncaffienated, Dunkin lover junky.
I'll admit, you can't click through to my blog....because I DON'T HAVE ONE YET! :( I do have a google account, which is why it might look like you could click to me, but can't decide on a blog name to actually get started. I hope you don't think it's too creepy that I'm reading your blog with no blog of my own and I'll let you know when I get mine started so you don't have to worry about me thinking you are a cold beeyoch for not visiting. :)
Dunkin Donuts has some weird hold over Bostonians (or Mass-holes in general). I don't understand it. The coffee is okay, but, seriously? There appears to be a DD on every corner. It puts Starbucks to shame out there.
Andrea, I don't think it's creepy at all. I read blogs for YEARS before I had my own blog. I always assume that everyone who reads and comments is Totally Awesome, and Innocent Until Proven Guilty.
Even if you HAVE a blog, but just don't want me to read it, that's fine too. I just want to make sure that everyone who WANTS their blog to be accessible knows how.
I didn't go to Starbucks for the first time until about a year ago. I hate coffee, like, with a passion. Frapuccinos only please.
It wasn't until I went back to work full time and started mainlining coffee again that I really "got" Dunkin Donuts coffee. I never thought it was that great. BUT, the hazelnut is fucking delicious. Since I'm from NY, the DD mothership tractor beam is not as strong as for those from Beantown.
I only went back there a few year ago because they had a drive thru, and the s-bux around here didn't. So I started swilling their lattes. And as the commercial says, you don't have to order in Fritalian.
HAHAHA. The above comment is MINE. With an anon profile and everything.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
DAMN YOU TLA! You'd better not have a Secret Blog called ihatetessie.blogspot.com!
I so fucking love spanish tourettes it's not even funny.
Like sick love.
DD can't pull it's weight here. I only know of one left in The Lou.
Mass-holes. HA HA HA HA HA!
WHERE are the Dunkins in the metro????? I have never seen one. They must all be in the "eastern sector" to which I do not go very often. Cuz Im lazy like that - but for some DD coffee...Ill make the drive.
TOTALLY disagree about the KKs being a waste of a hole - they are sin in your hand when they are hot off the line. However, sometimes Im in the mood for a more cake-like DD treat!
Oy! And I thought I was hopped up on coffee today...you take the cake! You are wired and ready...or should I say were wired and ready. I have since felt the late afternoon crash that is caffeine free......and I'm hating it.
Yeah, the last time I was in Boston I noticed that the Dunkin Donuts stores seemed to be outnumbered only by CVS! There was even a donut/sushi place!
We don't even have DD here in Savannah anymore - it's strictly Krispy Kreme (and Starbucks, of course, but my favorite coffee place is a local one).
I don't drink coffee but I do eat donuts. I'm all hyper after reading this post!!!
Dude! I don't even need my coffee in the morning after reading this post - I'll just refer back and be good to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the bestest post I've ever read. Thank you (Gracias mi vida!)
Up with Starbucks! Thats all.
Dang you are FUNNY.
Thanks for giving the tutorial on opening your profile. I love it when new people comment and then I'm all SAD when I can't learn more about them. And totally not in a stalkerish way.
Dude, Dunkin Donuts totally rocks and it's my favorite thing in the whole wide world. They don't have them here in this backwards town so i have to order it online and get it delivered to my house. Except! Now they started selling it in the grocery store (Thank God)!
Also: try the egg & cheese breakfast sandwhich on a croissant. MMMM....
Now you know what to get me for my birthday!
Post a Comment