AD is recovering nicely, thanks for asking, but I am STILL SORE (seriously!). At any rate, she's the daycare's problem today (I once read a blog post that suggested that in order to cope with worrying about being away from your baby, you should cultivate an attitude of "it's not my problem right now", which I find HILARIOUS, and also kind of smart), so back to the WORK grind, which at least includes several (okay 4) uninterrupted cups of coffee.
Being home with a sick toddler, even if you are healthy as a horse yourself, can suck really badly. I have to say that 18 months is so far a really hard age for me. Right now, a typical day home with AD looks kind of like this:
- Wake up between 5 and 6 am. Refuse variety of fluids by shaking head vigorously and saying "NAH!". Take one bite of cereal/Nutrigrain bar/banana and attempt to feed rest to dog. When dog accepts offer, scream "MIIIINE!"
- Refuse to watch TV while mama wakes up, or ever for that matter
- Refuse to sit on mama's lap while mama wakes up. Basically, sitting is not allowed in any form by any adult person
- Refuse to play with any toys
- Refuse to read books. Instead turn to last page, exclaim "ALL DONE! UP MAMA!" and pull on mama's arm
- Reach arms up to be picked up and/or cling to mama's legs until she picks you up
- Once picked up, refuse to let mama sit down
- When set down so mama can use bathroom, scream and follow her into bathroom, pulling on her legs and trying to shut toilet lid while she is ON THE CAN GODDAMNIT
- Repeat, repeat, repeat.
- Take ONE nap not to exceed one (1) hour
- Repeat, repeat, repeat.
- Bedtime.
SIGH. Believe me, I know that all of this is developmentally appropriate, and I have scoured the internet and books for commiseration, which I've found in posts like this one from Ask Moxie, but still. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that when I am home with AD, she will not leave me alone for more than ONE MINUTE. And that is only if I SPRINT to the other end of the house and wait for her to catch on. This would not bother me if she wanted to play with me, or read books, or watch TV, or even SIT DOWN. It might surprise you to know that I actually have a very high tolerance for playing with her. But it seems that she doesn't want to do ANYTHING except be held, and be held WHILE STANDING UP at that. Even if I didn't mind holding her, which I really don't, I physically cannot do it anymore for any length of time. Especially if I'm not allowed to sit down.
I keep asking people with kids about AD's age how they get anything done AT ALL when they are home alone with their kids, because I seriously don't get it. Other kids seem happy to play alone. My kid doesn't. Other kids seem happy to watch TV. My kid doesn't. Other kids seem happy to sit on their mothers laps and read books. My kid doesn't. It's just frustrating. She seems to be a very physical child who is only happy when SHE is moving and SO ARE YOU.
Anyway, word on the Internet is that this gets better in a few months, and THAT HAD BETTER BE TRUE, because I don't know how long I can live with a toddler hanging from my jock 24/7. Especially one who seems to prefer a vigorous piggyback ride to a nice brain-rotting DVD. LAME.
32 comments:
Ha ha! I feel kind of mean, laughing at your misery. This is precisely why I cannot ever imagine having little monkeys. Can't! Imagine!
Glad to hear AD is feeling better, though. Er, enjoy your day at work?
I cannot even fathom how exhausting (physically and mentally) that must be.
When you're holding AD, does she demand interaction? Like, do you also have to be talking with her or can you be quiet?
It's great that she's obviously attached to you, but does she do the same to BR?
I envision some kind of backpack device for you and her...
AD's the boss of you! It's okay, my youngest is the boss of me too.
P&D-She doesn't demand interaction while I'm holding her, but she doesn't want me to SIT DOWN while holding her. If I do, she screeches and squirms and tries to get down and then pulls on my legs for ME to stand up. "GO MAMA! GO MAMA!". She does it to BR too.
I wish they made some kind of toddler SOMETHING that would work. It's hard because I am SO SHORT and she is SO BIG NOW that it's getting really hard to carry her around.
it really does get better . . . kind of. After many many (many many many) nights of totally worn out arms (seriously why CAN'T we sit down?) or of O pulling my pants off while I cooked and K leisurely chatted and picked through the mail I was dying for O to not want me every second of the day. Now he only wants daddy. and I'm jealous. is that not the dumbest thing you've ever heard?
Bananafana-It's weird, it doesn't seem to be a matter of parental preference, since she does the same thing to BR. It seems to be a matter of preferring that NO ONE do any resting, in any form, WHATSOEVER.
I would just as soon hand a baby over to a boarding school between the time the baby learns to walk and the baby's third birthday. For me, things start getting better at about 2-1/2.
My firstborn was like AD: would not play by self! The others have all been better about that.
I can virtually ASSURE you that AD will be over this by the time she turns 18. Maybe even 16. You can hold out 14.5 more years, right?
Tessie?
My youngest is three now, and most of that Earlier Time is conveniently wiped off the slate of my memory (my uterus must be hoping that it will thus convince me to have more infants. HA! Think again, Uterus!) However, I do remember evenings of putting a screaming toddler into her crib and closing the door while I pulled together dinner--brutal, yes, but I was actually proud of myself because the alternative was flipping out and screaming too. (Be glad you don't have THAT gene. Jeesh). But it seemed that time was brief. Also, it seemed to be related (in retrospect) to obviously temporary events like Being Sick or Teething.
Huh, this post could have been about Matthew at that age. He no longer requires the holding thing but mostly because when I hold him I think he knows I am small AND weak and fears that I will drop him. Also, I just started telling him 'baby I love you but you are getting too big for momma to hold' (which is seriously & sadly true...)
ON a wholly related note, he still requires that we move a lot and play with him. He is still not quite there to play "by my own" as he says. He will scream and yell our names from the basement - "COME PLAAAAY with me, mommmmee, daddddeee". And while I try to relish the time he actually really wants me there and is NOT shooing me out of the room. It really stinks when you are tired and you just want to sit your lazy rump on the floor and watch rather then partake.
SO it got moderately better in the needing me to hold him dept but still in the same patten in the "I need you to hang with me 24/7 and sitting is truly not an option..."
You have exactly described my middle one at that age, except that he could actually say, "no sit, no sit!" And, he would pre-emptively start saying it the moment you picked him up. And although he would sleep 13 straight hours at night, he never slept more than 20 min during the day.
It got better when he found something he really loved, which in his case, was airplanes or helicopters. So, as long as we were playing with those, you didn't have to hold him.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And I only laugh because I am LIVING YOUR LIFE! The main difference being I have it day in and day out, without the office job break. I actually have my other kids block J's view so I can SNEAK OUT OF THE ROOM to do things like PEE or MAKE DINNER (I wash my hands first, DUH!).
And I don't know why we MUST STAND. Is the air pressure on their little eardrums just too much at lap-level?
JMC-I seriously don't know how I would do that. And people wonder why I am so damn giddy about being a working mom. BECAUSE OF THE SITTING, THAT'S WHY!
Usually your posts make me want to have a baby, but this one made me decidedly not want to have a baby. But also, it made me laugh, so that makes up for it. Sort of.
Wow, that's brutal. Perhaps she is simply trying to make sure she doesn't have to share you with any future sibling by being your best method of birth control.
I'm glad she's feeling better.
This all leads me to wonder what she does at daycare though.....do they carry her around all day?
Maybe it's easier for me because they entertain each other. CA was born just as ED was at that age.
Saly-No, every time I've seen her at daycare she is happy as a goddamned clam! I do think having the other kids around helps, and also they are more physical with their play, going outside and riding bikes, dancing to music, etc.
I think having another kid around WOULD help. In fact, I've often felt that the only solution is to go back in time and have TWINS or something instead.
I think it is their age. While SD will play and watch TV, she constantly wants to be held by me. I was home this morning and she fell off the chair, well that was the end of it, it just amplified like no other! And I wan't another one?!?!?!?
This pretty much describes my 20 month old son. Impossible to sit. And like Bananafana, he does tug so hard if I wear sweat that my pants come down, I burst out laughing at that one.
On the bright side, you can think of it as your workout, lugging a 30 pound toddler around. I get crunches in, lunges, bicep curls. No need for a gym membership with a toddler.
"She seems to be a very physical child who is only happy when SHE is moving and SO ARE YOU."
Maybe you shouldn't have read so many RUNNING MAGAZINES and OTHER FITNESSEY STUFF whilst pregnant.
Erica-I KNOW! Like all things that irritate me about her, I like to just blame BR. I mean *I* am the lazy one! It's clearly not MY fault she's like this!
It does not bode well that I got a little tired just reading about all that standing and holding. . .
Oh dear Tessie. I hear you. Zoe went though a (blessedly short) phase like this. My strategies were these:
1. When standing and holding her, put one foot up on something reasonably high (the shelf on the kitchen cart, the sofa, a stool etc.) and rest her heavy little self on my thigh. At least it saved my back and arms a bit of work.
2. Wrestling with her on the ground. Usually this would tire us both out and she would then transition to playing with something on the ground.
3. Letting her stand up on a step ladder (under my vigilant, unwavering gaze of course) next to me while she "helped" me with something (folding laundry, cooking, or something equally glamorous and intoxicating.)
Holy crap. That's my life in a nutshell. YOu know(because you obviously need something else to read) this is my everyday schedule.
http://thebinghambabes.blogspot.com/2007/11/whats-it-like-huh.html
now that I've shamelessly promoted my own blog... I don't even know what to tell you. Except that I completely understand.
I guess this is making up for her calmness as a baby! Gavin is/was the same way (except he was NOT calm, but colicky as a baby). He still needs constant attention, but at least AD might have a sibling to help ease the pain?!?
Oh, and I've had 2 kids like that. Who both have had horrible ear problems. Apparently they're much more sensitive to elevation changes and just being held on my hip, that extra 2 1/2 feet made a big difference in the amount of pressure placed on the eardrum... (kinda like when you're swimming, the deeper you go, the more pressure on your ear?) Anyways. just something to think about. maybe.
We went through this too, but it hepled that she was happy in the backpack carrier we use for hiking. I would walk around the house with her, doing laundry, vacuming, and dishes. I couldn't really sit down, but at least I could get some stuff done.
Hell, yes, Tessie, I could not agree more on the working mom thing. There is more than one meaning to "I love my job!"
soph was the same way.
You mean it doesn't get easier when they learn how to walk? Shoot, I was kinda counting on that.
I'm finding that all the half-ages are hard ones. Tantrumy. Screamy. And then it passes and the good is very, very good at those half-ages.
Also relating to swistle's comment about "won't play by self." Maybe it's a first-born thing? LET'S HOPE SO.
I laughed really hard at this because my Jelly Bean is 16 months and acts the exact *EXACT* same way.
Like you could have been peeking in my windows. Dude, you like weren't though, right?
I have no advice! I suffer from the same afflictions! Let me know if you find a cure!
"toddler hanging from my jock..." HAAAAAAA! That is so hilarious (only because I KNOW of which you speak.) My toddler is always face first in my groin begging and whining for something. My husband says she is "trying to climb back in." And, JESUS, I kind of wish she would so she would leave me alone for 0.2 seconds.
I personally found 18 months to be the WORST AGE. I was not impressed with that age. It got a little better around here at 20 months. But, she STILL follows me EVERYWHERE. While whining.
I am constantly trying to sneak off and my husband thinks it is so mean and thinks I'm horrible for always trying to escape her, but....it is annoying to have a whiny toddler attached to you all day. He would never understand...
And, I never, EVER get anything done. So, you're right about that.
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