Today I will discuss how we procured our dog Sasha, the Nervous-Tummied Fake Rottweiler (it's on her business cards).
When BR and I moved in together, he already owned one Eeyore-like Rottweiler, shown in Exhibit 1 below:
Exhibit 1: OH, BOTHERHe was only an OCCASIONAL pain in the ass, so we decided we would begin "trying" for another. We began scouring ads in the paper for female Rottie pups. I guess they were all being immediately snapped up for use as snarling junkyard dogs and understudies for Cujo: The Musical, because we didn't have much luck*.
One Sunday in October, we were watching that perky, human-interest-with-a-drizzle-of-weather bullshit that passes for the Sunday news, and a representative from the SPCA was on with a rottie puppy. Score! Practically free puppies of questionable parentage! Sign us up!
So, we hauled ass over to the SPCA and by the time we got there, 3 of the 6 available puppies had already been adopted. So BR sequestered the remaining three in an interrogation room and began auditioning each one in his unique (fussypants) way. Points were awarded, people, and I am so serious. Anyway, Sasha emerged victorious by earning technical points for allowing BR to hold her down on her back and style points for "snuggling calmly".
While I applaud (okay, sarcastic clap) his efforts, the truly hilarious thing is that to this day BR claims that she was "showboating" and that she "pulled a bait and switch, man"! Because that fucking dog has the worst Nervous Tummy of any animal I have ever met. If you so much as LOOK at her wrong, she pukes. Shut the door while you're in the bathroom? Pukes. Leave her in the house while you work outside? Pukes.
Also: turns out she's not so much a Rottweiler, as she is...a Rottweilerish Shepard. BR is so bitter, he still calls her "Shep".
From L to R: One Fake Rottweiler, One Fake Hispanic, One Real Rottweiler
So, I guess this is the part where I go all Crazy Dog Lady and admit that Sasha is really a very sweet dog. BR likes her too, but don't tell him I told you. She's definitely more Tasmanian Devil than Eeyore, but she is smart, she aims to please, and she loves AD. 
I could do without the puking, though. Jesus H.
I could do without the puking, though. Jesus H.*It's funny, ever since we've had our dogs the Rottie-as-rabid-killer imagery is totally lost on me. I see a close-up of a Rottie with a spiked leather collar giving the camera the evil eye and I just think "Awww. Look at the buddy". Heh.
32 comments:
DUDE! We totally have the same D-O-G (I spell it because she still thinks she's human). Our Belle is an Australain Shep (we think) and Rottie mix. YAY, Rotties! Does that mean that perhaps you and I could somehow be related by the clans of dogdom??? We don't have the puke gene here, though (much)...
A couple of years ago they banned people here from acquiring new pit bulls and anyone who owned one had to have it spayed/neutered and muzzled. During discussion of the bill, Rotweillers had also been thrown into the discussion. Your guys look like pussy-cats, which goes to show that the problem is with bad dog owners, not bad breeds.
Ummm, OK fucking dictionary. AUSTRALIAN
Lori-Sigh. Yeah, I hate arguing over the Breed issue but I WILL say that I hate when people lump Rottweilers and Pit Bulls together. Rotties are primarily WORKING dogs and were not bred for protection or aggression. They are strong, and have a forceful bark, but they are really nothing like pit bulls.
I love these posts. Every time I see a dog and get a twinge similar to a uterus twanging over a baby, I will remind myself about dog puke. Maybe it'll help.
I want a dog so bad. I have severe dog envy! Your guys look great and so big especially next to the baby. Now if I could only get the husband to agree. He is so anti-dog it sucks. He hates the puking, shitting, and shedding. Especially the shedding. It messes with his neat nick uniform. Ugh.
jean
I am so not a dog person...but good for you!! I feel the same way about my cats though---enough of the GD puking. K? Thanks.
I do really like BR's boot like red slippers though.
Your dogs are freakin' adorable. Although the picture of her with the baby looks like she's to feast on some baby fingers.
I WANT A DOG SO BAD and everyone posting cute pictures of their cute dogs is driving me mad!
There's a girl here in the office who works for a Rottie Rescue, and she brings in ones every once in awhile. They're awesome.
And that last picture totally looks like AD's about to become a snack - ha!
I assume the dogs help with cleaning the floor after one of AD's meals too. Bonus! Or does that upset their stomach too?
Our dog was supposedly a rottie too . . . turns out he is a chow/lab/newfoundland mix according to our vet/other experts (by other experts I mean random people on the street)
Our dog is a total eeyore and has a stomach of steel unless he eats bread and then he apparently poops all over our office and various craft materials (like he did last night! damnit)
MBM-Yes, they are AWESOME for that. That's like the #1 Dog Utility.
We had to start putting them out during meals though since AD LOVES to feed them. She was reaching down with one hand on each side of the high chair and saying "AGA/ASA. AGA/ASA." (Jager/Sasha)
Bananafana-It's funny because our OTHER dog (Jager) DOES have a tummy of steel. He's eaten ant traps and even POOL SHOCK before with no apparent ill effects.
any nonedibles make it through his system? we could start a photo essay of dog poop ala styrofoam or tampons. it could be pretty funny
Bananafana-SOCKS. But I don't have a fucking PICTURE of it, and you had better not either!
So adorable, they almost hurt my eyes. It's awesome to hear all these great things about Rottweilers. We've been thinking of going down Dog Avenue - but are waiting until the baby is born in the spring. I'd rather get a big dog than a twee one, and had been thinking of a Rottweiler. Strangely, the dog puke issue does not deter me.
Cute dogs, cute husband, cute baby. It's enough to make you puke. ;)
LOVE the caption under the picture - fake Hispanic. Ha!
Dogs are the best. It would appear that your dogs think they are lap dogs despite their size. I love that about big dogs.
Were you ever concerned about how the dogs would take to a baby? I'm not worried about one of my dogs, but the other one has some issues.
We have a German Shepard now. He's very sweet, but he lives outside.
Flibberty-Yes, we WERE worried, but to be honest the only real issue we have had is the sound of their goddamned CLAWS on our hardwood floors (it wakes her up sometimes). We are lucky that our dogs are used to being outside and we have a yard so we can always put them out if need be.
Obviously, we also never leave her alone with them and blah blah blah parenting disclaimer here.
They pretty much leave each other alone, though.
I have this theory about dogs and for the most part I have been right. If you are nice and kind to your dogs, they will be the same in return. If you treat them like Michael Vick they will be evil and mean.
I do agree that Rottweilers get a bad rap which sucks but than again people think terriers are spazzy crazed lunatics and I will tell you know that my little peeps (that is pups but in my cutesy dog language...shut it!) are the sweetest calmest dogs most of the time.
Sure they jump higher then Michael Jordan (yo two sport figured mentioned in one comment - I have no clue about either of these people other then massive media coverage...) but they are great snugglers and they seem no more spazzy than the average doggie.
Wow, I am certainly passionate about this topic, no?
I am SO like BR. My mom picked Sweet Dog out for us and I kept asking her "So how does she react to being held on her back? Will she allow you to snuggle? Can you touch her feet and tail? What do you mean you don't know??!?! I need the full personality profile!!"
A friend's pit (who was the sweetest, smartest dog you'll ever meet, BTW) had a nervous tummy and she took a mylanta with every meal. It seemed to help.
I have never met a Rottweiler that wasn't the biggest,goofiest sweetest thing...I had one for a niece, once upon a time. She was a dork. Your dog looks a lot like a manchester terrier mix. Friends of ours thought they were getting a Doberman and it ended up being more manchester than anything else. Our Sheltie actually pukes up hairballs. Bleh...
I have Sasha's twin at my house! Her name is Piper (Rowdy Rottie Piper), and she is definitely a shepherd/rottie mix. Very sweet, no nervous tummy, but she's a poop eater. Yet we still love her. Adopted her from a local New Braunfels barfly. We also have the World's Most Neurotic and Scaredy-Cat doberman, so I hear ya on the scary dogs who lose their scariness. ~Laura
Laura-Rowdy Rottie Piper! HAHAHA!
Awww....I love your puppies. I don't know what was funnier - Jager as Eeyore (which I can totally see) or the caption of the picture of the dogs with BR!!!
I have to give Sasha major props though....she never had nervous tummy when she stayed over at our house, even the fateful night of 6 dogs and one woman.
The Dog Father's name is Jager? As in meister??
My husband swears on a stack of bibles that Rotties are the best dogs in the whole wide world.
One of our dogs is a total Eeyore and he's got the nervous tummy, too. The other dog is the BEST about puking - he always comes up and gives me this one look, then he holds it until I take him outside to yak. LOVE that dog. It takes a bulldozer to move Eeyore dog from the carpet (b/c he never throws up on the tile of course) when he's in the act of puking.
Do your dogs annoy you more now that you have AD? I find myself irritated at our dogs constantly. I know it's b/c they don't get the same attention they did before and they're in the way b/c they want to hang out with us, but seriously! Sometimes I just want a little space.
Our (previous) dog used to be maniac about eating the crotch out of all my (dirty, as in worn for a day) underwear! I had to bury them, but she would often still find them. In the dead of winter when it was to effing cold, we would get lazy about cleaning up the dog poo, then come spring, all that was left of it was shreds of my underwear.
Maybe I shouldn't have shared that???
Oh, well.
Erica-Yes, he's Jager as in meister. They are very good dogs, mostly because they are extrememly smart and can be trained pretty easily.
Shelly-I do get irritated, but only when they make stuff with AD harder. Like when they wake her up or beg for food or whatev.
Marie-Our dogs aren't into undies, but they ARE into SOCKS. We've, uh, had that issue with the sock thing too. Heh. The bad thing about TX is that the poo rarely FREEZES, and everyone knows frozen poo is easier to pick up. NOw maybe *I* shouldn't have shared.
Ha - I've had to pick up quite a few sock poops from our dobie, Penny (Dobie One Penobi). A few Hot Wheels poops, too. It's interesting how the socks come out in an exact lower intestine shape. Well, I think it's interesting, anyway. ~Laura
Awwww, wook at da QUTIES!!
Also, I think Paul has the same slippers in blue.
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